I ventured out to Barnes and Nobles tonight for the last Christmas gift I had to get this holiday season. I also had multiple Starbucks gift cards to use from my class gifts last year when no one realized I wasn't a fan of coffee! So I decided to get rid of a few bucks on one card and ordered a peppermint hot chocolate to take home with me. Boy was I surprised when the Starbucks guy said, "Sorry, we don't accept Starbucks gift cards here." WHAT?! This IS a Starbucks, right?!?! I decided to keep with the cheery, Christmas spirit and happily pay for my hot chocolate with my debit card. I figured it was more graceful than what I really wanted to tell the Starbucks worker.
After I got my cup of cocoa, I perused the book shelves of said bookstore. Of course I found myself in the "self help" section, because I think the best books one can buy are those about bettering oneself. I took four potentials back to the Starbucks table to read through while I drank my warm (and sadly, not free!) drink. One was a book about living alone and loving it, one was about Kermit the Frog's advice about life, one was about putting lipstick on and all would be right with the world (REALLY stupid book...looked through it in about 30 seconds before putting it down), and another was about that poem, "Do it anyway." The Kermit the Frog book and the "Do it Anyway" book were the only potential "keepers" in the stack. However, I did not purchase either one. I did, however, come across another book while putting the other four away and swearing I was not going to buy a book for ME, as I was at B&N only to buy the Christmas gift. Whoops. I ended up purchasing, for a mere $12.95, a book called "The 10 Women You'll Be Before You're 35." From what I can tell from the back, it discusses the ten people I will apparently be before I'm 35 - new graduate (check), dollarless diva (check), worker bee (CHECK!), party girl (possible check?), body-conscious babe (semi-check), chameleon (?), crisis chick (?), Ms. Independence (currently? maybe?), Wirl (half woman/half girl), True You. Hmmm. Sounds good to me, I suppose. I'll let you know how the book is. And which of these "women" I currently am. And any good quotes I come across (there are a lot of quotes in the book - one reason it was the chosen book of the night!).
I also noticed something while at Barnes and Noble tonight. As I sat there sipping my hot chocolate and flipping through random books, it suddenly occurred to me that I was actually happy being alone. I didn't want anyone else there with me. I was content doing my own thing, and I actually LIKED it. I think I am finally starting to grasp how important it is for everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, to have "me" time alone. I actually found a quote in my new book to share about this!
"Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one." - Eleanor Roosevelt
I also read something along those lines in my favorite blog thus far. You know, the one that inspired me to start a blog of my own. Check out Alisa's post about this topic:
http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2008/12/how-to-get-a-life/
Side note : Want to hear something cool? Alisa noticed a lot of "traffic" coming from my blog to hers , so she checked out my blog. She even took the time to post comments on my first entry (beginnings are usually scary)! I thought that was pretty cool. I didn't think anyone would ever read this thing, aside from a few friends and co-workers. Who would've thought?!?!
I realize I've digressed...
The one thing I would like to leave all of you with (whomever that may be!) is a challenge. Do one thing in PUBLIC alone this week. No significant others, no friends, no kids, NO ONE is allowed to go with you! This could be eating alone, going to a movie alone, shopping alone, drinking hot chocolate while reading books at a book store alone (hint, hint!), or even just going for a walk alone. It is quite liberating to be with no one but yourself. Maybe a little awkward at first, but I bet you'll enjoy it the way I learned to. Give it a try, and let me know how it goes!
One last thought for the night...
I have to share Sadie's latest "Marley" moment with all of you. My parents watched Sadie on Friday while #4 and I went to his company Christmas party and stayed downtown. Well we think she ate a lamb from their nativity scene while she was over there! My mom can't find it anywhere. So I am waiting for Sadie to poop out a white lamb (or pieces of it if she chewed before swallowing, which isn't always the case with Sadie!). My mom wants me to take her to the vet for X-rays. I am debating this because 1.) no one actually SAW her eat the lamb, we're just ASSUMING that's what happened to it and 2.) I have concluded that Sadie's digestive system is made out of steel. If she hasn't died yet from all the crap she's eaten, I highly doubt a lamb will be the end of her.
I am grateful for...
1.) Panera lunches with friends that last for HOURS!
2.) A much-needed break from work.
3.) Reading alone in public (even if I did get funny looks while reading the "Kermit the Frog" book!).
Monday, December 22, 2008
Monday, December 15, 2008
Why My Life is So Great
I don't feel like writing a lot, especially because I should be in bed right now. So here is a quick list about why my life is so great. And yes, I am a little partial! ;)
*I have a great family, and have a great relationship with my parents.
*I got my dream job right out of college. How lucky is that?!
*I can afford an apartment and furnishings all by myself.
*I have the sweetest dog ever, even if she can have her moments at times...
*I get hugs and am told everyday how great I am by "my kids."
*I have kept in touch with my close friends, and I know for a fact we'll stay friends forever! I still have my best friend from kindergarten, and multiple friends from high school and college.
*I have branched out and met new people, including a few girls I work with that now are among some of my closest friends.
*I have a good heart, and genuinely want what's best for everyone.
*I have a wonderful assortment of children's books.
*I am smart and motivated to succeed in life.
*I can read people easily, and am usually a good judge of character.
*I believe in God and can trust in His plan for me.
*I smile at people I pass, even if they don't smile back.
*I know how to love, and how to accept love in return.
*I surround myself with good, kind people, and they in turn help my life to be good and kind.
*I know who I am, and I choose to be that person each and everyday.
I don't mean to sound conceited. I just had been feeling a little "down" in my last few posts, and needed to remind myself of all I have going for me! It worked - I'm a pretty cool and lucky girl! :)
I am grateful for...
1.) Who I am.
2.) Cuddling with Sadie.
3.) Pending snow! :)
*I have a great family, and have a great relationship with my parents.
*I got my dream job right out of college. How lucky is that?!
*I can afford an apartment and furnishings all by myself.
*I have the sweetest dog ever, even if she can have her moments at times...
*I get hugs and am told everyday how great I am by "my kids."
*I have kept in touch with my close friends, and I know for a fact we'll stay friends forever! I still have my best friend from kindergarten, and multiple friends from high school and college.
*I have branched out and met new people, including a few girls I work with that now are among some of my closest friends.
*I have a good heart, and genuinely want what's best for everyone.
*I have a wonderful assortment of children's books.
*I am smart and motivated to succeed in life.
*I can read people easily, and am usually a good judge of character.
*I believe in God and can trust in His plan for me.
*I smile at people I pass, even if they don't smile back.
*I know how to love, and how to accept love in return.
*I surround myself with good, kind people, and they in turn help my life to be good and kind.
*I know who I am, and I choose to be that person each and everyday.
I don't mean to sound conceited. I just had been feeling a little "down" in my last few posts, and needed to remind myself of all I have going for me! It worked - I'm a pretty cool and lucky girl! :)
I am grateful for...
1.) Who I am.
2.) Cuddling with Sadie.
3.) Pending snow! :)
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Thoughts about Relationships
Tonight I've been thinking a lot about relationships...past, present, and future. Here are a few of those thoughts, as random and as scattered as they may be...
Past
I have come to the realization that I was practically married to guy #3. I basically lived at his house, cleaned, took care of our "baby" (Sadie), decorated the house, and tried desperately to make the relationship work. I got into such a routine with him...I called him every day as I was leaving work and asked what he wanted to do for dinner. I tried to coordinate weekend plans so that we could have a "date night" one night and he could have a night out with his friends the other. I let my world revolve around him because I figured he would possibly one day be my husband. But then I woke up one day and realized that I wasn't married to him, and that I was giving him his cake and letting him eat it, too. I had lost myself. I was an unhappy married woman, when in fact I wasn't even really married at all...
Present
I have found these "routines" of guy #3 creeping into my relationship with guy #4. I am so accustomed to "married dating life" that I feel like I've forgotten what "newly dating life" is like. I still like to know what he wants to do for dinner, but have found that sometimes those plans don't involve me. I get frustrated when I feel like we don't have "date nights" and instead spend our entire weekend in groups at bars. I somewhat mentioned this in the last blog, when I felt like I was PMSing but really wasn't. I had a bit of a breakdown that night because it has all gotten too much to bear sometimes. It's like I want to skip over all this beginner dater's crap and get to the "good stuff" in my opinion. So I told him how I desperately needed a night this weekend to be just "us." So we did, and it was FABULOUS. We went out to dinner at Palomino's downtown, overlooking Fountain Square and all of the holiday festivities. We checked out the ice skating rink, but decided it was much too cold to brave the ice! (Plus, I would've fallen on my butt more than likely! Haha.) We rented movies and watched one that night, as he nudged me every so often to make sure I was awake (which I was about 50% of the time!). All of my teacher friends out there can vouch for me on how hard it is to stay awake during a movie on a Friday night after a week of 6 and 7 year olds! I felt much better about things after our date night. My needs were met, and I could stop the nagging! I hope we can do it again sometime soon.
Future
#4 called me tonight, and we had a good conversation (as always!). Time lines came up in the conversation, and he asked me why I feel like I have to be married by 30. I explained that if I get married at 30, and my husband wants to wait a few years before kids, that puts me at 32 or 33 with my first kid. And then my 2nd would be when I'm like 35 or 36, which would be hard to get pregnant and more risky for the baby. Yes, I think about these things! Then he asked me what would happen if I did get married someday and couldn't get pregnant. Couldn't I be happy with just my husband? Hmmm... I didn't want to sound like some maternal nutcase, but the answer was practically "as a last resort, yes I could." I explained that if that were the case, I would try infertility treatments and then adoption if those didn't work. And if in the end I was still without a child after years and years of trying, I would assume God had other plans for me than parenthood and I would try to live a happy life. But do you know how hard that would be for me?! Anyone that knows me knows how much I love children. That's the whole reason I am a teacher! The idea of never having any of my own scares the crap out of me. I feel like I was put on this Earth to be a teacher and a mother (and of course a wife, too!). Family is everything to me. I can't picture a family without children, I just can't. So I may sound selfish, and I may be somewhat living on a timeline, but I just can't compromise on that. And I am typically ALWAYS willing to compromise! Luckily, #4 is great with kids. I know he wants them, whether he thinks that's in three or ten years from now. But that conversation kind of scared me - should I be okay with the possibility of not having kids, or do I have the right to not accept that fate unless absolutely necessary? And am I crazy for thinking about this at 25?! Oh my...
Relationship with me
#4 went to the Bengals game with friends today, and then out to celebrate their win (WOW!) at some bars afterwards. I was invited, but couldn't go due to my stupid Master's paper (yuck). Once the paper was done in the early evening, I found myself sitting around waiting on #4. Would he want me to make dinner? Should I drive downtown and meet him at the bars? I decided I was reverting back to "Married Kristi," as I was when I was with #3. My life should NOT revolve around someone else until I am married. And even when I am married, I shouldn't "revolve" aroud someone else...but work with their schedule and needs, I suppose. This is hard for me, because I am a natural born giver. I want to make everyone happy, and I want to make people feel valued and loved. I am also the type that likes to be around people. I lived with my family all my life, then roommates that became family in college, then #3, and now it's just Sadie and me. Most of the time I am okay with living alone. Many times I actually like it. But there are some times when I miss the company of others. I want someone to eat dinner with. I want to watch TV with a companion. Tonight was one of those nights. So what did I do? I showered, made myself presentable, and went SHOPPING!!! I needed some new "going out" clothes (since I go out so much more often now!), and I had a coupon for 15% off at Kohl's. Then I went to Target because I had a gift card. By the time I got home, I wasn't lonely anymore...even though I was alone the entire time I shopped! I am learning that this whole living alone thing is a process, and one day I won't feel the need to ask #4 over for dinner so often. And that will probably be the day when I will have someone to eat dinner with every night. I am beginning to understand that before I can have someone around all the time, I need to be content being alone with just me. So I am working on that!
I am grateful for...
1.) The two new necklaces I bought tonight! Can't wait to wear them!
2.) Learning it's okay to be alone.
3.) Trusting in God's plan for me.
Past
I have come to the realization that I was practically married to guy #3. I basically lived at his house, cleaned, took care of our "baby" (Sadie), decorated the house, and tried desperately to make the relationship work. I got into such a routine with him...I called him every day as I was leaving work and asked what he wanted to do for dinner. I tried to coordinate weekend plans so that we could have a "date night" one night and he could have a night out with his friends the other. I let my world revolve around him because I figured he would possibly one day be my husband. But then I woke up one day and realized that I wasn't married to him, and that I was giving him his cake and letting him eat it, too. I had lost myself. I was an unhappy married woman, when in fact I wasn't even really married at all...
Present
I have found these "routines" of guy #3 creeping into my relationship with guy #4. I am so accustomed to "married dating life" that I feel like I've forgotten what "newly dating life" is like. I still like to know what he wants to do for dinner, but have found that sometimes those plans don't involve me. I get frustrated when I feel like we don't have "date nights" and instead spend our entire weekend in groups at bars. I somewhat mentioned this in the last blog, when I felt like I was PMSing but really wasn't. I had a bit of a breakdown that night because it has all gotten too much to bear sometimes. It's like I want to skip over all this beginner dater's crap and get to the "good stuff" in my opinion. So I told him how I desperately needed a night this weekend to be just "us." So we did, and it was FABULOUS. We went out to dinner at Palomino's downtown, overlooking Fountain Square and all of the holiday festivities. We checked out the ice skating rink, but decided it was much too cold to brave the ice! (Plus, I would've fallen on my butt more than likely! Haha.) We rented movies and watched one that night, as he nudged me every so often to make sure I was awake (which I was about 50% of the time!). All of my teacher friends out there can vouch for me on how hard it is to stay awake during a movie on a Friday night after a week of 6 and 7 year olds! I felt much better about things after our date night. My needs were met, and I could stop the nagging! I hope we can do it again sometime soon.
Future
#4 called me tonight, and we had a good conversation (as always!). Time lines came up in the conversation, and he asked me why I feel like I have to be married by 30. I explained that if I get married at 30, and my husband wants to wait a few years before kids, that puts me at 32 or 33 with my first kid. And then my 2nd would be when I'm like 35 or 36, which would be hard to get pregnant and more risky for the baby. Yes, I think about these things! Then he asked me what would happen if I did get married someday and couldn't get pregnant. Couldn't I be happy with just my husband? Hmmm... I didn't want to sound like some maternal nutcase, but the answer was practically "as a last resort, yes I could." I explained that if that were the case, I would try infertility treatments and then adoption if those didn't work. And if in the end I was still without a child after years and years of trying, I would assume God had other plans for me than parenthood and I would try to live a happy life. But do you know how hard that would be for me?! Anyone that knows me knows how much I love children. That's the whole reason I am a teacher! The idea of never having any of my own scares the crap out of me. I feel like I was put on this Earth to be a teacher and a mother (and of course a wife, too!). Family is everything to me. I can't picture a family without children, I just can't. So I may sound selfish, and I may be somewhat living on a timeline, but I just can't compromise on that. And I am typically ALWAYS willing to compromise! Luckily, #4 is great with kids. I know he wants them, whether he thinks that's in three or ten years from now. But that conversation kind of scared me - should I be okay with the possibility of not having kids, or do I have the right to not accept that fate unless absolutely necessary? And am I crazy for thinking about this at 25?! Oh my...
Relationship with me
#4 went to the Bengals game with friends today, and then out to celebrate their win (WOW!) at some bars afterwards. I was invited, but couldn't go due to my stupid Master's paper (yuck). Once the paper was done in the early evening, I found myself sitting around waiting on #4. Would he want me to make dinner? Should I drive downtown and meet him at the bars? I decided I was reverting back to "Married Kristi," as I was when I was with #3. My life should NOT revolve around someone else until I am married. And even when I am married, I shouldn't "revolve" aroud someone else...but work with their schedule and needs, I suppose. This is hard for me, because I am a natural born giver. I want to make everyone happy, and I want to make people feel valued and loved. I am also the type that likes to be around people. I lived with my family all my life, then roommates that became family in college, then #3, and now it's just Sadie and me. Most of the time I am okay with living alone. Many times I actually like it. But there are some times when I miss the company of others. I want someone to eat dinner with. I want to watch TV with a companion. Tonight was one of those nights. So what did I do? I showered, made myself presentable, and went SHOPPING!!! I needed some new "going out" clothes (since I go out so much more often now!), and I had a coupon for 15% off at Kohl's. Then I went to Target because I had a gift card. By the time I got home, I wasn't lonely anymore...even though I was alone the entire time I shopped! I am learning that this whole living alone thing is a process, and one day I won't feel the need to ask #4 over for dinner so often. And that will probably be the day when I will have someone to eat dinner with every night. I am beginning to understand that before I can have someone around all the time, I need to be content being alone with just me. So I am working on that!
I am grateful for...
1.) The two new necklaces I bought tonight! Can't wait to wear them!
2.) Learning it's okay to be alone.
3.) Trusting in God's plan for me.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
PMS with no period?!?!
I apologize in advance to any men that may have happened upon my blog. I recommend you stop reading this particular entry....NOW. (Haha)
Anyway...tonight I feel like I usually do right before I start my period. You ladies know... emotional, pissy, and even dare I say it? A little bitchy. But the strange thing is that I am not getting my period anytime soon! So I guess I just have a bad case of the Mondays...I mean...Thursdays...
It started when I got my hair cut. It is so short! Much shorter than I think I had requested. It will grow, as it always does. But that did not put me in a very good mood. After the haircut fiasco...
My guy and I had our first official "discussion" of our relationship tonight. I won't call it a fight, because that's not what it was. But we were both tired and cranky, and for some reason I fixated on not getting to see him tonight and it all just spiraled down from there. Side note - do you ever just feel the need for a hug? Or to be cuddled? I don't know why, but I was sooooo craving that tonight. Hence why I was probably upset when I found out I wasn't going to see him as I had hoped. I suppose Sadie will have to do for now...
I am happy to report that all is well in the relationship department. I get to plan a date for us to do tomorrow night, and he has promised that we will not end up at a bar at any point in the night. I am so excited! I have a couple ideas about what we might do...all are interactive and all help to create QUALITY time together! I've really needed that. I don't know why, but hanging out in a group at bars just doesn't qualify as quality time in my book anymore. But maybe that's just the 40-year-old lady that lives in my 25-year-old body talking! ;)
The funniest part of the night was after I got off the phone with him. Feeling like I was PMSing (when seriously...I'm NOT!), I decided that Skyline chili dip sounded like the best option for dinner. I filled the bottom of the glass bake ware with cream cheese (fat free! I promise!), and went to dump in the can of chili. Well what do you know? It was a can for a 3-way...noodles in the chili and all! Ewwww. Now I was faced with a dilemma - what to do next? Throw away the cream cheese and noodles/chili? Make it anyway and eat the dip with noodles? Well, I made it...noodles and all. I must say that it wasn't very good. But I was pissy and in need of a fattening meal, gosh darn it! So word to the wise...double check the cans of Skyline before buying!
On a happier note, there were some positives to my day (as there always are). My kids made me "notes," as has become the trend within the past two weeks for some reason. My favorite today was written by a little girl, and all it said was, "We are koalas. We never give up." (My class mascot is a koala, by the way...) My second favorite said, "You are the best teacher in the whole wide world." Now those can only bring a smile to my day! :)
Also, I realize I have the best girlfriends anyone could ever ask for. I am even lucky enough to work with two of them. It has occurred to me recently just how much I need "girl's nights" in my life. I am working on planning at least one a month. Let me know if you're in! Us girls gotta stick together, right?!?!
Sorry if this entry was kind of a downer. I always try so hard to be upbeat and positive! But it's not realistic to think life is always going to be like that. Sometimes you're in a bad mood, and sometimes things don't work out the way you want them to. And sometimes you're too tried to think of creative things to say and just have to talk about the "everyday happenings!" So thanks for bearing with me! ;)
I am grateful for...
1.) Being honest, even if it might ripple the waters.
2.) Skyline chili dip WITHOUT noodles in it! Who would've thought!!!
3.) FRIDAY!!!
Anyway...tonight I feel like I usually do right before I start my period. You ladies know... emotional, pissy, and even dare I say it? A little bitchy. But the strange thing is that I am not getting my period anytime soon! So I guess I just have a bad case of the Mondays...I mean...Thursdays...
It started when I got my hair cut. It is so short! Much shorter than I think I had requested. It will grow, as it always does. But that did not put me in a very good mood. After the haircut fiasco...
My guy and I had our first official "discussion" of our relationship tonight. I won't call it a fight, because that's not what it was. But we were both tired and cranky, and for some reason I fixated on not getting to see him tonight and it all just spiraled down from there. Side note - do you ever just feel the need for a hug? Or to be cuddled? I don't know why, but I was sooooo craving that tonight. Hence why I was probably upset when I found out I wasn't going to see him as I had hoped. I suppose Sadie will have to do for now...
I am happy to report that all is well in the relationship department. I get to plan a date for us to do tomorrow night, and he has promised that we will not end up at a bar at any point in the night. I am so excited! I have a couple ideas about what we might do...all are interactive and all help to create QUALITY time together! I've really needed that. I don't know why, but hanging out in a group at bars just doesn't qualify as quality time in my book anymore. But maybe that's just the 40-year-old lady that lives in my 25-year-old body talking! ;)
The funniest part of the night was after I got off the phone with him. Feeling like I was PMSing (when seriously...I'm NOT!), I decided that Skyline chili dip sounded like the best option for dinner. I filled the bottom of the glass bake ware with cream cheese (fat free! I promise!), and went to dump in the can of chili. Well what do you know? It was a can for a 3-way...noodles in the chili and all! Ewwww. Now I was faced with a dilemma - what to do next? Throw away the cream cheese and noodles/chili? Make it anyway and eat the dip with noodles? Well, I made it...noodles and all. I must say that it wasn't very good. But I was pissy and in need of a fattening meal, gosh darn it! So word to the wise...double check the cans of Skyline before buying!
On a happier note, there were some positives to my day (as there always are). My kids made me "notes," as has become the trend within the past two weeks for some reason. My favorite today was written by a little girl, and all it said was, "We are koalas. We never give up." (My class mascot is a koala, by the way...) My second favorite said, "You are the best teacher in the whole wide world." Now those can only bring a smile to my day! :)
Also, I realize I have the best girlfriends anyone could ever ask for. I am even lucky enough to work with two of them. It has occurred to me recently just how much I need "girl's nights" in my life. I am working on planning at least one a month. Let me know if you're in! Us girls gotta stick together, right?!?!
Sorry if this entry was kind of a downer. I always try so hard to be upbeat and positive! But it's not realistic to think life is always going to be like that. Sometimes you're in a bad mood, and sometimes things don't work out the way you want them to. And sometimes you're too tried to think of creative things to say and just have to talk about the "everyday happenings!" So thanks for bearing with me! ;)
I am grateful for...
1.) Being honest, even if it might ripple the waters.
2.) Skyline chili dip WITHOUT noodles in it! Who would've thought!!!
3.) FRIDAY!!!
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Live a Life That Matters
I realize I haven't written in awhile. I guess I feel like I should write about something of value, and not just the small happenings of my days. Honestly, nothing really of value has happened to me recently (aside from strep throat - oh boy!). But I finally have a topic idea and the "urge to write," so TA-DA! Blog update! ;)
My boyfriend had a friend of the family pass away this week. Me, being the WONDERFUL girlfriend that I am (HAHA), joined him at the funeral home for the viewing. I am not a fan of death. Looking at a dead body in a casket is horrifying to me. Seeing people cry over a lost loved one breaks my heart. But seeing someone whose life is over is always very eye-opening and sobering for me.
My grandma passed away two years ago. She was a sweet woman; someone that I can only hope to be like one day. Her mind started going a few years before she died, and it made me so sad when she would repeatedly tell me how much I loved apple juice when I was little. She would tell the story of me going to the refrigerator and saying, "appajus! appajus!" probably three or four times every single visit. To this day, whenever I drink a glass of apple juice with my cereal in the mornings, I think of her. A little strange, I know...but it is a small part of her that I'm sure will stay with me forever, especially if I have a child someday with the same love for apple juice as his or her mother!
I have a strange way of knowing when people have died. When my grandpa (this grandma's husband) died, I was only in the 4th grade. Since he was in hospice and my parents knew his time was running out, I stayed at my aunt and uncle's house for those last few nights. I remember crying one particular night, and told my cousin that I just knew he had died. And sure enough, the next day I found out this was the case. YEARS later, as an adult, I again knew my grandma's time was running out. She had been put into an induced coma, and her body was quickly failing her. On the way to school one morning, I happened to turn the radio to a country channel. This is out of my normal routine, as I never really listen to that particular channel, and definitely not in the mornings! Anyhow...the morning talk show host read the following poem over the air:
My boyfriend had a friend of the family pass away this week. Me, being the WONDERFUL girlfriend that I am (HAHA), joined him at the funeral home for the viewing. I am not a fan of death. Looking at a dead body in a casket is horrifying to me. Seeing people cry over a lost loved one breaks my heart. But seeing someone whose life is over is always very eye-opening and sobering for me.
My grandma passed away two years ago. She was a sweet woman; someone that I can only hope to be like one day. Her mind started going a few years before she died, and it made me so sad when she would repeatedly tell me how much I loved apple juice when I was little. She would tell the story of me going to the refrigerator and saying, "appajus! appajus!" probably three or four times every single visit. To this day, whenever I drink a glass of apple juice with my cereal in the mornings, I think of her. A little strange, I know...but it is a small part of her that I'm sure will stay with me forever, especially if I have a child someday with the same love for apple juice as his or her mother!
I have a strange way of knowing when people have died. When my grandpa (this grandma's husband) died, I was only in the 4th grade. Since he was in hospice and my parents knew his time was running out, I stayed at my aunt and uncle's house for those last few nights. I remember crying one particular night, and told my cousin that I just knew he had died. And sure enough, the next day I found out this was the case. YEARS later, as an adult, I again knew my grandma's time was running out. She had been put into an induced coma, and her body was quickly failing her. On the way to school one morning, I happened to turn the radio to a country channel. This is out of my normal routine, as I never really listen to that particular channel, and definitely not in the mornings! Anyhow...the morning talk show host read the following poem over the air:
Live A Life That Matters
Ready or not,
someday it will come to an end.
There will be no more sunrises,
no minutes, hours or days.
All the things you collected,
whether treasured or forgotten,
will pass to someone else.
Your wealth,
fame and temporal power
will shrivel to irrelevance.
It will not matter what you owned
or what you were owed.
Your grudges, resentments, frustrations,
and jealousies will finally disappear.
So, too, your hopes, ambitions, plans,
and to-do lists will expire.
The wins and losses
that once seemed so important
will fade away.
It won’t matter where you came from,
or on what side of the tracks you lived,
at the end.
It won’t matter whether you were beautiful or brilliant.
Even your gender and skin color will be irrelevant.
So what will matter?
How will the value of your days be measured?
What will matter is not what you bought,
but what you built;
not what you got,
but what you gave.
What will matter is not your success,
but your significance.
Ready or not,
someday it will come to an end.
There will be no more sunrises,
no minutes, hours or days.
All the things you collected,
whether treasured or forgotten,
will pass to someone else.
Your wealth,
fame and temporal power
will shrivel to irrelevance.
It will not matter what you owned
or what you were owed.
Your grudges, resentments, frustrations,
and jealousies will finally disappear.
So, too, your hopes, ambitions, plans,
and to-do lists will expire.
The wins and losses
that once seemed so important
will fade away.
It won’t matter where you came from,
or on what side of the tracks you lived,
at the end.
It won’t matter whether you were beautiful or brilliant.
Even your gender and skin color will be irrelevant.
So what will matter?
How will the value of your days be measured?
What will matter is not what you bought,
but what you built;
not what you got,
but what you gave.
What will matter is not your success,
but your significance.
After hearing that poem, I knew in my gut that my grandmother had died. No one had to tell me, I just knew. And sure enough, after school, my mom called to tell me she had passed that morning. I of course raced around trying to find that poem, even calling the radio station to see if they could email me a copy of it for the funeral. I wanted to read it at the funeral, because I honestly believe my grandmother did just what was described in that poem. My family had made other plans for the eulogy, so I never did get to read it. However, I will always know in my heart that hearing that poem on the radio was a sign from God that my grandma had gone peacefully; it was also a reminder for how I should live my life.
I think many of us take our lives for granted. I know I do. I assume that I will live to be an old age, and that I will get to do all of the things I want to in my life. Yet I know this is not guaranteed. I also assume that my parents will be around long enough to see me get married and have children of my own someday. Unfortunately, this is not guaranteed either. Life is short and unpredictable. Sometimes God has plans for us that we can not understand. I have seen many people die in their 50's, before their parents and way too soon to be leaving their kids. Anything can happen. Therefore, we must make the most of the lives we are given. Each day is a gift, and we should treat it as such. I must admit that there are days when I dread getting out of bed in the morning, and the very thought of spending seven hours of my day with a bunch of seven-year-olds wears me out to the core. However, I should be THANKFUL that I have been given the gift to get out of bed each morning, and the pleasure to follow my passion. I want to live with no regrets, and make the life I am living significant.
On a lighter note, I have another funny first grade story to share with you all!
Katie: "Connor called me a chick!"
Me: "Connor, that was a put-down to Katie. I don't want to hear you saying 'chick' anymore!"
Awesome (who is sitting nearby, obviously eavesdropping): "Well, he can say that if he is referring to the animal."
Me: "Uh...yes, Awesome, he can say the word 'chick' if he is referring to a baby chick, but not to a girl."
Awesome: "Well, yeah..."
Seriously, where else but in the first grade could you have conversations such as these?! Haha.
I am grateful for...
1.) God.
2.) Sadie passed out on her dog bed!
3.) Going to dinner with my mom tonight.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Sadie, AKA "Marley"
I swear my yellow lab, Sadie, is Marley reincarnated! I am not kidding. I read the book Marley and Me by John Grogan last winter break, and it has since become one of my favorite books. Mainly because, as I said, I am living with my very own "Marley." To more fully understand what I mean, check out the link for the Marley and Me trailer coming out on Christmas. I swear that it is MY dog the movie is based on!!! http://www.marleyandmemovie.com/
For those of you that don't know Sadie, here are a few "Marley" stories I can share about her.
*Sadie ate everything as a puppy. You name it, she probably ate it. My personal favorite was when she swallowed a pair of my underwear WHOLE! No shredding, chewing, oh no. She looked JUST like Marley in the trailer when he has her necklace! All I saw were panties hanging out of her mouth, and then... GULP! They were gone. In one second flat. Other items she has eaten include shredded towels, dog bed stuffing, tons of toilet paper, and the dirt/dog hair from the bag I had emptied the Dyson dirt into. Oh yes...GROSS. She attempted to eat my students' report cards last year. I had to write "Sorry, my dog bit your report card!" on some of them! She also destroyed a remote and hid the batteries. I then thought she ATE the batteries, and googled this dilemma online. Yep, dogs can die from eating batteries. I was just about to take her to the vet instead of going to school when I for some reason thought to check under the couch. Batteries found. Death yet again escaped.
*When Sadie got spayed, she had to stay overnight at the vet. Now you would think that when a dog is SEDATED and IN PAIN, she would behave, right?! WRONG! When I picked her up the next day, the vet informed me that Sadie desperately needed some training. Now THAT made me feel like a good mom!
*I paid $800 to have my dog trained. She can sit, stay, shake, wave, lay down, spread 'em (like she's being searched by the police against a wall), speak, and even count! But does she still jump? Yes. Bark? Yes. Take things whenever her leash is not on her and run away from you with said stolen item? Oh yes. I am supposed to buy a shock collar, as per the trainer's suggestion. Do I think a $250 shock collar will help these issues? Well, the $800 dog training did not!
I must say though, she is getting better. Here is my slight glimmer of hope:
Here is the nice, new couch I bought this summer when I moved into my new apartment. It has also been the favorite resting spot of Sadie. This has caused many frustrating nights of me vacuuming the INCREDIBLE amount of dog hair off of it! Labs sure do shed a lot, especially on new furniture it seems!
This is Sadie's bed that I bought from IKEA. This is how it normally looked. That is because Sadie is usually on my couch! See the problem???
However, tonight I was a mean mommy. Every time she got up on the couch, I pushed her off. I yelled. I pulled her leash. I abandoned my Masters homework assignment to discipline my dog. And here was the end result:
So maybe my "Marley" will mellow-out after all. But like Marley, Sadie has taught me a lot. She has taught me how to love something unconditionally. She has taught me how to forgive mistakes. She has taught me how to get over my fear of picking up POOP! She has taught me that no matter what happens or how often we have to move around due to mommy's crazy relationships, she will always love me. And for that I am grateful. Good dog, Sadie!
After thought...
As I was lying in bed last night after writing this post, it suddenly occurred to me that I did not share my latest and greatest "Marley moment" of Sadie's! Well, my mom and dad bought me a ring from Tiffany's for my 25th birthday present in October. I was normally good about putting it in my jewelry box, but one night I left it on my nightstand. Yep, Sadie got it the next morning while I was in the shower. Surprisingly, she did not swallow it. However, she chewed it so much that now it does not even remotely resemble a ring. It is squished completely flat. Therefore, it is ruined. My mom keeps asking, "Do you like the ring I got you?" "Yes, I do!" I say through clenched teeth. "Oh, well I just never see you wear it anymore." I don't have the heart to tell her what happened to it. Not that she would be surprised, because she knows Sadie and what she is capable of. So mom, if you happen to be reading this, I am sorry. And here is a current picture of my birthday present. Oh, Sadie....
Patience is a Virtue
Yes, patience is a virtue; and I sure didn't have a whole lot of it today. I try to keep my posts positive and encouraging, but tonight I just need to vent. I love my job, and I would not trade it for the world. However, today it was hard to be that good and patient teacher I strive so hard to be.
Here are some of the things that made today difficult...
*An administrator had to redirect two of my kids at different points in our day.
~One had his coat over his head on the way back from lunch. Yes, this seems to be a good idea in the first grade. The administrator removed the coat from the child's head and said to be careful, as he could not see walking down the hallway. So what does my student do the minute she walks away? Oh yes...he puts the coat BACK on his head. Hmmm. This warrants another talk from her. How embarrassing...
~On the way to buses, I see a different child running to his bus the minute he is free from my WALKING line. I am one of the few teachers at my school that actually cares what my students do on the way to buses, and I immediately say, "Joe, you need to walk! Try that again!" Joe gives me a blank stare. "Try that again!" I scream. With my luck, the administrator is standing near Joe's bus. She starts yelling, "Joe, your teacher is talking to you! You need to walk!" Oh boy. Well, at least I care enough to have him try it again. Eventually Joe gets the drift and shows us how to walk to his bus.
*Five of my girls have somehow magically turned into drama queens/tattle tales over Thanksgiving break. If I heard one more "Miiiiiiiiiss Ruuuuuuuwe" (say that to yourself in a drawn out, whiny voice), I think I would have pulled my hair out.
*While reading a book, I noticed a child pick up a piece of snow removal salt off the carpet. Remember that the only reason this salt is on our carpet is because it traveled via dirty shoe and fell off onto our nice, clean meeting carpet. Anyway, I saw the child put the salt into his MOUTH! "Jacob!" I screamed. "Take it out!" Ewww gross, I know. But it gets worse. Throughout the day I saw TWO MORE children attempt to eat the salt off the carpet! And those are only the three instances I saw! Who knows how much salt was consumed when I was looking at the books I was reading to them! Note to self : We need a class chat about why it is not okay to eat salt off the carpet tomorrow.
I could go on and on about why my day was a rough one, but I don't want to bore you! ;) Yet I must remind myself that in addition to these instances, the following good things happened:
*After reading a looooong story to them at reading (a Patricia Pollacco book, for all you teachers out there!), a little girl raised her hand and said, "Miss Ruwe, we love when you read books to us. Can we read another one?" This caused the entire carpet to go into an uproar of, "Yeah, read another one!" Unfortunately, we needed to get moving with our workshop. But I did make sure to read a quick book for Word Work shortly after. And I felt special that they apparently like my reading so much!
*I got a multitude of hugs throughout the day...always a mood-lifter.
*My kids made me laugh. Honestly, when DON'T they make me laugh?!
*We played "What Changed?" for our morning activity, and Emma took her shoe off as the thing she changed. Honestly, did she think we wouldn't notice that she took her entire shoe off?! But we all laughed and smiled, including Emma, and so it was a good part of our day!
Today reminded me that everyone has good days and bad days. But even on those "bad" days, there are positive things that happen. It's just a matter of noticing them. Hopefully I will notice a lot more of the positive things tomorrow!
I am grateful for...
1.) Funny stories to share.
2.) Panera's potato soup...mmmm!
3.) The ability to start fresh every day.
Here are some of the things that made today difficult...
*An administrator had to redirect two of my kids at different points in our day.
~One had his coat over his head on the way back from lunch. Yes, this seems to be a good idea in the first grade. The administrator removed the coat from the child's head and said to be careful, as he could not see walking down the hallway. So what does my student do the minute she walks away? Oh yes...he puts the coat BACK on his head. Hmmm. This warrants another talk from her. How embarrassing...
~On the way to buses, I see a different child running to his bus the minute he is free from my WALKING line. I am one of the few teachers at my school that actually cares what my students do on the way to buses, and I immediately say, "Joe, you need to walk! Try that again!" Joe gives me a blank stare. "Try that again!" I scream. With my luck, the administrator is standing near Joe's bus. She starts yelling, "Joe, your teacher is talking to you! You need to walk!" Oh boy. Well, at least I care enough to have him try it again. Eventually Joe gets the drift and shows us how to walk to his bus.
*Five of my girls have somehow magically turned into drama queens/tattle tales over Thanksgiving break. If I heard one more "Miiiiiiiiiss Ruuuuuuuwe" (say that to yourself in a drawn out, whiny voice), I think I would have pulled my hair out.
*While reading a book, I noticed a child pick up a piece of snow removal salt off the carpet. Remember that the only reason this salt is on our carpet is because it traveled via dirty shoe and fell off onto our nice, clean meeting carpet. Anyway, I saw the child put the salt into his MOUTH! "Jacob!" I screamed. "Take it out!" Ewww gross, I know. But it gets worse. Throughout the day I saw TWO MORE children attempt to eat the salt off the carpet! And those are only the three instances I saw! Who knows how much salt was consumed when I was looking at the books I was reading to them! Note to self : We need a class chat about why it is not okay to eat salt off the carpet tomorrow.
I could go on and on about why my day was a rough one, but I don't want to bore you! ;) Yet I must remind myself that in addition to these instances, the following good things happened:
*After reading a looooong story to them at reading (a Patricia Pollacco book, for all you teachers out there!), a little girl raised her hand and said, "Miss Ruwe, we love when you read books to us. Can we read another one?" This caused the entire carpet to go into an uproar of, "Yeah, read another one!" Unfortunately, we needed to get moving with our workshop. But I did make sure to read a quick book for Word Work shortly after. And I felt special that they apparently like my reading so much!
*I got a multitude of hugs throughout the day...always a mood-lifter.
*My kids made me laugh. Honestly, when DON'T they make me laugh?!
*We played "What Changed?" for our morning activity, and Emma took her shoe off as the thing she changed. Honestly, did she think we wouldn't notice that she took her entire shoe off?! But we all laughed and smiled, including Emma, and so it was a good part of our day!
Today reminded me that everyone has good days and bad days. But even on those "bad" days, there are positive things that happen. It's just a matter of noticing them. Hopefully I will notice a lot more of the positive things tomorrow!
I am grateful for...
1.) Funny stories to share.
2.) Panera's potato soup...mmmm!
3.) The ability to start fresh every day.
Monday, December 1, 2008
Thrifty Christmas Idea
I love Oprah. Sometimes her shows do not appeal to me, but usually she has a lot of cool information to share! I watched the "How to Have the Thriftiest Holiday Ever!" show on Wednesday, and they had the cutest idea! A married couple decided to have "The 12 Dates of Christmas" instead of "The 12 Days of Christmas." These 12 dates were in place of Christmas gifts to one another. Some dates were going out (ice skating, etc;) and others were simply staying in their house (baking cookies, etc.). Here is a link to the article about that part of the show:
http://www.oprah.com/article/oprahshow/20081118_tows_holiday/7
I'm not sure if me and my guy are going to do this, but I thought the idea was cute and worth passing along. Let me know if you do it and how it goes! Christmas is only a few short weeks away!!! :)
I am grateful for...
1.) A clean apartment!
2.) My kiddies (I missed them!)
3.) The long weekend I got to spend with family and my guy! :)
http://www.oprah.com/article/oprahshow/20081118_tows_holiday/7
I'm not sure if me and my guy are going to do this, but I thought the idea was cute and worth passing along. Let me know if you do it and how it goes! Christmas is only a few short weeks away!!! :)
I am grateful for...
1.) A clean apartment!
2.) My kiddies (I missed them!)
3.) The long weekend I got to spend with family and my guy! :)
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
The Gift of the Memorable Child
The Gift of the Memorable Child
The child that is my challenge is a gift.
Only he can give me
The gifts of patience, tolerance, and acceptance -
If I let him.
He will be the one to make me into a true Teacher
And challenge my very soul.
I can learn more from this child
Than from much of my college coursework -
If I choose to.
A child is not something that is "broken"
For me to "fix".
This child comes to me a unique individual
Worthy of love - just as he is.
Will I choose to rise to the occasion?
Or be yet another to throw my hands up?
Do I have it in me to maybe be the one that can make a difference?
Is he maybe the one that will make a difference in me?
Will I choose to let him?
~Cathy Abraham~
This poem is hanging on my refrigerator in my apartment, along with other sources of inspiration such as cards from "my kids," emails from parents, and other words of encouragement. All of these remind me why it is that I am a teacher. And why I love it.
I have two children in my class that were labeled as "challenging." When I got their paperwork from kindergarten, I cringed. I dreaded the year. How was I going to help these children? What if I couldn't handle them? Those two have become two of my "favorites." (But shhhh! Don't tell!) I viewed working with them as a GIFT, not a CHORE. I had a different opinion of such "challenging" children my first year of teaching. I did not treat them as gifts, and it showed. But this year I have seen a difference in not only me, but in those challenging children as well.
One child never socialized, never participated in class, and could not function in an academic environment when he came to me. He had no aide. WHAT?! Months later, he now plays games with other children, is reading and writing, and just today participated in a class discussion. He provided a response that made sense and was correct! The kids were so proud of him, saying, "That was really smart, Tom*! Good job!" It brought tears to my eyes...
The other child was angry. Only when provoked usually, but he did not know how to handle himself when things did not go his way. He still gets mad, and I still have to talk to him on an almost daily basis. However, he has become remorseful. He can say, "Miss Ruwe, I made a mistake. I'm sorry." He can look peers in the eyes and say, "I'm sorry, I won't do it again," and shake their hand. That is a big step for him. And again, I couldn't be more proud of his progress.
I have improved as well. I no longer feel exhausted or frustrated with these types of children. I have become the patient, kind, and encouraging teacher I have always wanted to be. And I credit it all to those "challenging" gifts that I have been blessed with.
On another note...today was the last day before Thanksgiving Break. I will not see my students for five days. No big deal, right? Well, apparently not to my kids. They were hugging me at the end of the day and saying, "Miss Ruwe, we'll miss you!" I kept saying, "Yes, but it's only five days! You'll see me again on Monday, sillies!" But to be honest, I will miss them, too. I won't miss the paper grading or hearing my name called about a million times a day, but I will miss them. And THAT right there is proof enough that I am doing exactly what God intended for me to do.
* = Again, I will not put people's real names in my posts! Privacy is a MUST!!!
The child that is my challenge is a gift.
Only he can give me
The gifts of patience, tolerance, and acceptance -
If I let him.
He will be the one to make me into a true Teacher
And challenge my very soul.
I can learn more from this child
Than from much of my college coursework -
If I choose to.
A child is not something that is "broken"
For me to "fix".
This child comes to me a unique individual
Worthy of love - just as he is.
Will I choose to rise to the occasion?
Or be yet another to throw my hands up?
Do I have it in me to maybe be the one that can make a difference?
Is he maybe the one that will make a difference in me?
Will I choose to let him?
~Cathy Abraham~
This poem is hanging on my refrigerator in my apartment, along with other sources of inspiration such as cards from "my kids," emails from parents, and other words of encouragement. All of these remind me why it is that I am a teacher. And why I love it.
I have two children in my class that were labeled as "challenging." When I got their paperwork from kindergarten, I cringed. I dreaded the year. How was I going to help these children? What if I couldn't handle them? Those two have become two of my "favorites." (But shhhh! Don't tell!) I viewed working with them as a GIFT, not a CHORE. I had a different opinion of such "challenging" children my first year of teaching. I did not treat them as gifts, and it showed. But this year I have seen a difference in not only me, but in those challenging children as well.
One child never socialized, never participated in class, and could not function in an academic environment when he came to me. He had no aide. WHAT?! Months later, he now plays games with other children, is reading and writing, and just today participated in a class discussion. He provided a response that made sense and was correct! The kids were so proud of him, saying, "That was really smart, Tom*! Good job!" It brought tears to my eyes...
The other child was angry. Only when provoked usually, but he did not know how to handle himself when things did not go his way. He still gets mad, and I still have to talk to him on an almost daily basis. However, he has become remorseful. He can say, "Miss Ruwe, I made a mistake. I'm sorry." He can look peers in the eyes and say, "I'm sorry, I won't do it again," and shake their hand. That is a big step for him. And again, I couldn't be more proud of his progress.
I have improved as well. I no longer feel exhausted or frustrated with these types of children. I have become the patient, kind, and encouraging teacher I have always wanted to be. And I credit it all to those "challenging" gifts that I have been blessed with.
On another note...today was the last day before Thanksgiving Break. I will not see my students for five days. No big deal, right? Well, apparently not to my kids. They were hugging me at the end of the day and saying, "Miss Ruwe, we'll miss you!" I kept saying, "Yes, but it's only five days! You'll see me again on Monday, sillies!" But to be honest, I will miss them, too. I won't miss the paper grading or hearing my name called about a million times a day, but I will miss them. And THAT right there is proof enough that I am doing exactly what God intended for me to do.
* = Again, I will not put people's real names in my posts! Privacy is a MUST!!!
What Every Girl Deserves
Every girl deserves to feel she is valued and loved.
Every girl deserves to eat ice cream sundaes.
Every girl deserves to be made a priority.
Every girl deserves to be kissed on the forehead.
Every girl deserves to be taken on dates.
Every girl deserves to have her voice heard.
Every girl deserves to get dressed up once in awhile.
Every girl deserves to dance in front of a mirror.
Every girl deserves to have fun and smile.
Every girl deserves to make her own decisions.
Every girl deserves to do what interests her.
Every girl deserves to feel safe.
Every girl deserves to follow her passion.
Every girl deserves to cry and laugh.
Every girl deserves to demand respect.
Every girl deserves to be happy.
Just a little something I came up with tonight! :)
I am grateful for...
1.) The new Taylor Swift CD - it is AMAZING!
2.) A five-day weekend!!!
3.) My "teacher" friends (you know who you are!)
Every girl deserves to eat ice cream sundaes.
Every girl deserves to be made a priority.
Every girl deserves to be kissed on the forehead.
Every girl deserves to be taken on dates.
Every girl deserves to have her voice heard.
Every girl deserves to get dressed up once in awhile.
Every girl deserves to dance in front of a mirror.
Every girl deserves to have fun and smile.
Every girl deserves to make her own decisions.
Every girl deserves to do what interests her.
Every girl deserves to feel safe.
Every girl deserves to follow her passion.
Every girl deserves to cry and laugh.
Every girl deserves to demand respect.
Every girl deserves to be happy.
Just a little something I came up with tonight! :)
I am grateful for...
1.) The new Taylor Swift CD - it is AMAZING!
2.) A five-day weekend!!!
3.) My "teacher" friends (you know who you are!)
Monday, November 24, 2008
Inspiring Video
I'm not usually one to post videos, but this one is worth sharing. I got it from "The Secret" website (yes, I am THAT obsessed...). The pictures and music are a little corny and dramatic, but I love the words! It amazes me that simply watching this can instantly put me in a better mood. Again, if you have never read "The Secret," GO BUY IT NOW!!! It will change your way of thinking, and in turn, change your life!
Enjoy! :)
The Wonderful World of Writing
It's true what they say...you never know how much you valued something until it's gone. I knew I valued writing, as it was a large part of my life growing up. I wrote countless amount of poetry, an annual Christmas play for my little cousins to perform, and even began many chapter books that I swore would become best sellers. But I let it go. I traded my words for college homework and roomie bonding time. (For the record, I wouldn't trade my roomies for the world!!!) Then after college, the distractions continued...grading papers, writing lesson plans, working on my masters, and still trying to manage some sort of a social life. When was there time to write? And if there was time....where was my energy and drive to write?! Thankfully, I had an awakening. I need writing to stay sane...it's my way of relaxing. Some people find comfort in having a beer after work; I find comfort in sitting at a computer and getting my thoughts down. And to think I've denied myself this need for the past...how many years?! I've missed it. And now that I have it back, I feel so much better. This revisited passion of mine got me thinking about my past life as a writer. I scoured through my apartment in search of the project I did for my "Prayer and Spirituality" class at UA. I had chosen to write poems and other short pieces, and then I photographed things that I felt awakened my spirit and complemented my writing. I flipped through the folder and thought, "Hey, I was a pretty smart girl at the tender age of 17!" Now, I realize that I am a little biased, of course. ;) But I figured I would share some of my old writing with you, because it still speaks to me now, even as an adult. So here we go...
What Schools Should Teach...
1.) Don't listen to the opinions of anyone else: the only voices that matter are your intuition and heart.
2.) Grades don't measure knowledge, they only reveal whether or not you take tests well or that you're a good guesser.
3.) It's okay to look in the mirror and see imperfections....as long as you accept them.
4.) It is a good thing to be a person that gives good advice. It is a greater thing to be a person that listens to advice.
5.) You learn a lot from a broken heart.
6.) Mistakes are a good thing - they give you a chance to learn.
7.) Everyone dislikes their parents at one time or another, but that doesn't give you the right to say hurtful things.
8.) Always be cautious with your heart, but never be too afraid to let yourself love or be loved.
9.) Always put time in your schedule for you to spend alone time with yourself.
10.) If things in life are down, they're bound to go back up sooner or later.
11.) Love yourself first - then love others.
12.) You will never be happy if your life mission is to make other people happy all of the time.
13.) You can't make a person like you, but you can make yourself into a person that doesn't stress over that fact.
14.) Always know what you deem important, and never let anyone tell you it is less than you feel it really is.
15.) Always begin and end your day with a smile.
16.) Realize that popularity is just something that is perceived. We are all equal, and deserve to be treated as equals.
17.) Even if you feel no one is proud of you, be proud of yourself.
18.) Always be on the lookout for little lessons life has to offer.
What Schools Should Teach...
1.) Don't listen to the opinions of anyone else: the only voices that matter are your intuition and heart.
2.) Grades don't measure knowledge, they only reveal whether or not you take tests well or that you're a good guesser.
3.) It's okay to look in the mirror and see imperfections....as long as you accept them.
4.) It is a good thing to be a person that gives good advice. It is a greater thing to be a person that listens to advice.
5.) You learn a lot from a broken heart.
6.) Mistakes are a good thing - they give you a chance to learn.
7.) Everyone dislikes their parents at one time or another, but that doesn't give you the right to say hurtful things.
8.) Always be cautious with your heart, but never be too afraid to let yourself love or be loved.
9.) Always put time in your schedule for you to spend alone time with yourself.
10.) If things in life are down, they're bound to go back up sooner or later.
11.) Love yourself first - then love others.
12.) You will never be happy if your life mission is to make other people happy all of the time.
13.) You can't make a person like you, but you can make yourself into a person that doesn't stress over that fact.
14.) Always know what you deem important, and never let anyone tell you it is less than you feel it really is.
15.) Always begin and end your day with a smile.
16.) Realize that popularity is just something that is perceived. We are all equal, and deserve to be treated as equals.
17.) Even if you feel no one is proud of you, be proud of yourself.
18.) Always be on the lookout for little lessons life has to offer.
When I was a Girl
When I was a girl,
Life was easy and carefree.
I felt like a butterfly,
Fluttering through each day,
Looking for new adventures.
I obeyed my mother,
Idolized my dad.
I played with dolls,
Enjoyed the outdoors,
And always had a smile upon my face.
But things are different now.
The girl I once knew is now a woman.
There are just as many tears as laughter,
As much heartache as joy.
The petty fears of monsters under the bed,
And the boogie man have vanished;
Replaced with fears of the future,
Fears of the real world,
Fears of myself.
The unknown lurks behind every crevice of my life,
And I never know what to expect.
My mom and I fight,
I don't feel like a "daddy's girl" anymore,
And friends are closer.
What once were called "meanies" and "bullies,"
Are now called "b*tches" and "sluts."
Boys are after more than just a game of tag,
And dating can be nightmarish.
Dances don't seem so glamorous when searching for a date.
Depression creeps in slowly,
Because of the reality of the world,
Of how cruel people can be,
And because of the girl vanishing.
My heart gets shattered more easily now.
Be it because of a boy,
Or a friend,
Or... even myself.
My body doesn't seem to look the way I wish it.
People don't accept so easily now,
And exclude more frequently.
No one sees the positive in a situation,
Only the negative.
The sun doesn't shine so brightly now,
And wishing on stars doesn't seem to help much.
But is this necessary to grow up?
In a way, yes,
Because we learn,
We grow,
And we become stronger because we've survived it.
But what would happen if once in awhile,
We let the little girls inside of us break free?
What if we look on the bright side of things,
Take on new adventures,
And notice how blue the sky really is on a spring day?
What if we wish upon a star for something our heart desires?
Would that be such a bad thing?
Yes, we must grow up to be strong women,
But we mustn't let the girl inside of us disappear.
She must stay with us,
Inspire us,
And even sometimes show up in us.
We mustn't ever forget her.
Plea of Love
You take my quivering hand...
Please don't squeeze too tight.
You listen to my words...
Please don't twist them into something else.
You look into my eyes...
Please don't look too far into my soul.
You talk to me...
Please don't criticize.
You give me your attention...
Please don't call me greedy.
You take my heart in your hands...
Please don't break it.
You say you love me...
Please love my fragility, too.
I am grateful for...
1.) Writing again.
2.) Homemade cheese quesadillas and tomato soup (strange combo, I know...but they sounded good for dinner!)
3.) A two-day work week! :)
Fun First Grade Fact of the Day:
(This is random...but I had to throw it in somewhere!)
This new segment was sparked by a child in my class named "Awesome." Of course that's not his real name, but his actual name is just as funny and fitting! ;) (If you know my class, you know who I am talking about!)
Awesome: "Miss Ruwe, did you know that the first letters of "Saturn," "Uranus," and "Neptune" spell the word "sun?"
Me: "No, Awesome, I did not."
(I walk away with a puzzled look on my face...)
What do you know? Those planets are side by side and their first letters do, in fact, spell the word "sun." I have come to the conclusion that my first graders appear to be smarter than me. Seriously?!?! Who thinks of that stuff?!?!
One more thing...it's driving me nuts that the end of my post is all squished together...I think it's too long, and they therefore won't let me put breaks in it. So sorry. You probably didn't even notice, but I am a bit of a perfectionist...
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Role model for singlehood???
I love my students. Sometimes I love the funny things they say just as much! On Friday I had a little girl in my class (we'll call her "Katie") cock her head to the side and ask, "Miss Ruwe, are you single?"
"Single?" I asked. "What do you mean, Katie?"
"I mean, are you single?"
I just laughed. "I don't know what you're talking about."
"Oh, never mind...." she sighed as she got back to work. I simply walked away, laughing under my breath about the conversation I had just had.
A few minutes later I heard Katie talking with her peers at her table. "When I grow up, I want to be single like Miss Ruwe."
Well, at least I could be a role model for my girls. Moral of the story : it's okay to be single. And sometimes, it's pretty great.
I'm not saying that I am actually SINGLE single. Of course I have my wonderful boyfriend who makes me very NOT-single. But I am one of only two first grade teachers who is not engaged and has never been married. The only other person in my "boat" is fresh out of college and in her first year of teaching. Last year I was the only person. I have to admit that this bothered me. It killed me every time someone got engaged, married, or had a baby. You have to understand that they make it really bad at my school - they post all these "updates" on our electronic bulletin board. With each new "update" I was made to feel like I was a minority for not being "settled." What was wrong with me?!
I have learned to be content with my "singlehood." So what if I am not engaged or married yet? I would rather be picky and know what I want than end up in a failed marriage that I rushed into just to check it off my "To Do" list. I am not saying that the people I know who are married or engaged did this! But I think I just may have. I was willing to "settle" for less-than-perfect just to join "Club Wed." Not anymore. I am picky. I want to make sure that the guy I marry is perfect. Not "perfect" perfect, because let's face it...no one is. But perfect for me. And if it takes me years and years to get to that, so be it.
And you know what? I like my life right now. I like living alone (who would have thought, right?!). I like being picky. I like the fact that Sadie, my yellow lab, is my only "child" right now (though I sometimes think a real child might be easier to raise!). I like knowing that I deserve the best, and that one day it WILL be my turn to "settle down" with someone without having to "settle."
And in the process, I am teaching my students a lesson that goes beyond the content areas. I am teaching them that it is perfectly okay to be twenty-five and "single." That you don't need a man to make you happy. That you need to be complete alone before anyone else comes along. And that being single can actually be "cool!"
I am grateful for...
1.) Living alone.
2.) Sadie.
3.) The feeling of being content and living in the present.
"Single?" I asked. "What do you mean, Katie?"
"I mean, are you single?"
I just laughed. "I don't know what you're talking about."
"Oh, never mind...." she sighed as she got back to work. I simply walked away, laughing under my breath about the conversation I had just had.
A few minutes later I heard Katie talking with her peers at her table. "When I grow up, I want to be single like Miss Ruwe."
Well, at least I could be a role model for my girls. Moral of the story : it's okay to be single. And sometimes, it's pretty great.
I'm not saying that I am actually SINGLE single. Of course I have my wonderful boyfriend who makes me very NOT-single. But I am one of only two first grade teachers who is not engaged and has never been married. The only other person in my "boat" is fresh out of college and in her first year of teaching. Last year I was the only person. I have to admit that this bothered me. It killed me every time someone got engaged, married, or had a baby. You have to understand that they make it really bad at my school - they post all these "updates" on our electronic bulletin board. With each new "update" I was made to feel like I was a minority for not being "settled." What was wrong with me?!
I have learned to be content with my "singlehood." So what if I am not engaged or married yet? I would rather be picky and know what I want than end up in a failed marriage that I rushed into just to check it off my "To Do" list. I am not saying that the people I know who are married or engaged did this! But I think I just may have. I was willing to "settle" for less-than-perfect just to join "Club Wed." Not anymore. I am picky. I want to make sure that the guy I marry is perfect. Not "perfect" perfect, because let's face it...no one is. But perfect for me. And if it takes me years and years to get to that, so be it.
And you know what? I like my life right now. I like living alone (who would have thought, right?!). I like being picky. I like the fact that Sadie, my yellow lab, is my only "child" right now (though I sometimes think a real child might be easier to raise!). I like knowing that I deserve the best, and that one day it WILL be my turn to "settle down" with someone without having to "settle."
And in the process, I am teaching my students a lesson that goes beyond the content areas. I am teaching them that it is perfectly okay to be twenty-five and "single." That you don't need a man to make you happy. That you need to be complete alone before anyone else comes along. And that being single can actually be "cool!"
I am grateful for...
1.) Living alone.
2.) Sadie.
3.) The feeling of being content and living in the present.
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Relationship Advice from "The Break-Up"
Last weekend USA ran a marathon of "The Break-Up" starring Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn. I recorded it because I remember loving that movie in the theatre. Yet I never realized how much can be learned from the characters of Brooke and Gary. Here are some memorable quotes from the movie, along with what I think can be learned from them:
Gary: “Fine, I’ll help you do the dishes...”
Brooke: “You know what? No, that’s not what I want.”
Gary: “What do you mean? You just said you want me to help you do the dishes.”
Brooke: “No, I want you to WANT to do the dishes… It would be nice if you did the things I asked…it’d be even nicer if you did things without me having to ask you!”
Okay boys...here is a very quick and easy lesson for you. Women think men helping with housework is sexy. Seriously. We like to feel that our men want to help take some things off our plates. Simply seeing a man vacuuming or doing some dishes is all a woman needs to be head over heels. A little strange, I know, but true. And sometimes she might deny your help. My new guy has offered to help do dishes after meals, and sometimes I let him help me and other times I say, "No, I have it...but thanks for offering." And you know what? That offer is all I need to feel like he values, appreciates, and loves me. Simple as that. Don't believe me? Check this out to learn more about "choreplay":
http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2008/10/modern-foreplay-washing-the-dishes-together/
Brooke: “It’s not about you loving the g*d d**n ballet, Gary! It’s about how the person you love loves the ballet and you want to spend time with that person.”
Gary: “But not at the ballet….”
Brooke: “It’s not about the ballet, forget the ballet! We don’t go anywhere together!”
Gary: “We just went to Ann Arbor together.”
Brooke: “To Ann Arbor! To the Michigan/Notre Dame game. You think…heh…you think screaming drunk kids and leprechauns doing back flips…that’s fun…that’s fun for me. I did that for you. How do you show up for me?”
Relationships are tough. The whole point of a relationship is trying to join two very separate and different lives together. In my experience, opposites attract. Therefore, what I enjoy and what makes me feel calm and relaxed is very different from what my partner likes to do. I think the bases of a relationship need to be communication and compromise. Communication because, as I said in my "Nagging vs. Needing" entry, you need to be able to say what you want. Trust me, I spent way too much of my dating life being too afraid to come right out and say what I wanted and needed. I have learned (the hard way) that you have to have that communication, even if you know it's not what your partner wants to hear. How can someone give you what you need if they don't have a clue what that is? Once the communication piece is in place, couples MUST learn the art of compromise. I am not talking about compromising who you are to appease your partner. I am not asking anyone to change who they are and what they like. However, everyone needs to be willing to go outside their comfort zone for the person they love. I go to bars with my guy because that's what he likes to do for fun. Is it what I would choose to do? Absolutely not. But I go because I love him, and that's just what you do. Same goes for Bengals games. Anyone that knows me knows I am not a football fan, and the idea of sitting outside in the freezing cold is definitely not my idea of a relaxing weekend. However, if my guy were to ask me to go with him, I would go. I would layer on the clothing, buy some heavy-duty gloves and a hat, plant a smile on my face, and be a good sport. However, compromise needs to be a two-way street. If it's one person giving in to the wants and needs of the other all the time, that is not compromise - that is not having a backbone. I asked my guy to go to IKEA with me today. I knew he didn't want to. I knew that was not his idea of fun. But do you know why I asked him? Because if I'm going to do things to make him happy, I deserve for him to go out of his way once in awhile and do the same for me. I was a little nervous about asking him to do it. What if he didn't want to go? What if he blew me off? Thankfully, he went willingly. I felt special. It meant the world to me that he would go on a shopping escapade and be a good sport about it. That stupid IKEA trip meant more to me than a dozen roses. He did something he didn't really want to do because he knew I would appreciate it. And I did. And I think he even enjoyed himself a little bit...joking about the crazy old lady who decided to tell me the entire story about why her husband was walking so slow, and spinning the cart in circles every time we got to a spot big enough to do so (next time you're at IKEA, try it! Those carts can SPIN!).
What I'm trying to say is that no relationship is perfect. Most likely, you're not going to agree all the time. You may be asked to do things you don't want to do, but you should do them out of love. If two people can agree to communicate and compromise with one another, I feel they can make it through pretty much anything. Yet if one person is not able to do those two things, I would worry about the relationship succeeding. Relationships need to be 50/50, and it takes both parties working hard and making sacrifices for things to work out.
And sadly, Brooke and Gary did not work out in "The Break-Up." I feel it was because they did not communicate properly, they both were not willing to compromise, and they did not appreciate one another.
Brooke: "I just don't know how we got here. Our entire relationship, I have gone above and beyond for you, for us. I've cooked, I've picked your shit up off the floor, I've laid your clothes out for you like you're a four year old. I support you, I supported your work. If we ever had dinner or anything, I did the plans, I take care of everything. And I just don't feel like you appreciate any of it. I don't feel you appreciate me. All I want is to know... is for you to show me that you care."
Gary: "Why didn't you just say that to me?"
Brooke: "I tried. I've tried."
Gary: "Never like that...you might have said some things that were meant to imply that, but I'm not a mind reader..."
Brooke: "It wouldn't matter... you are who you are. Just leave me alone, ok? Right now, just shut my door."
Gary: "Listen..."
Brooke: "Alright Gary, just please, just leave the room. Gary just... I don't want to be near you right now, please just shut the door, please."
We can all learn a lot from "The Break-Up." Watch it if you get the chance!
I am grateful for...
1.) My trip to IKEA.
2.) Sleeping in on the weekends.
3.) Communication and compromise.
Gary: “Fine, I’ll help you do the dishes...”
Brooke: “You know what? No, that’s not what I want.”
Gary: “What do you mean? You just said you want me to help you do the dishes.”
Brooke: “No, I want you to WANT to do the dishes… It would be nice if you did the things I asked…it’d be even nicer if you did things without me having to ask you!”
Okay boys...here is a very quick and easy lesson for you. Women think men helping with housework is sexy. Seriously. We like to feel that our men want to help take some things off our plates. Simply seeing a man vacuuming or doing some dishes is all a woman needs to be head over heels. A little strange, I know, but true. And sometimes she might deny your help. My new guy has offered to help do dishes after meals, and sometimes I let him help me and other times I say, "No, I have it...but thanks for offering." And you know what? That offer is all I need to feel like he values, appreciates, and loves me. Simple as that. Don't believe me? Check this out to learn more about "choreplay":
http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2008/10/modern-foreplay-washing-the-dishes-together/
Brooke: “It’s not about you loving the g*d d**n ballet, Gary! It’s about how the person you love loves the ballet and you want to spend time with that person.”
Gary: “But not at the ballet….”
Brooke: “It’s not about the ballet, forget the ballet! We don’t go anywhere together!”
Gary: “We just went to Ann Arbor together.”
Brooke: “To Ann Arbor! To the Michigan/Notre Dame game. You think…heh…you think screaming drunk kids and leprechauns doing back flips…that’s fun…that’s fun for me. I did that for you. How do you show up for me?”
Relationships are tough. The whole point of a relationship is trying to join two very separate and different lives together. In my experience, opposites attract. Therefore, what I enjoy and what makes me feel calm and relaxed is very different from what my partner likes to do. I think the bases of a relationship need to be communication and compromise. Communication because, as I said in my "Nagging vs. Needing" entry, you need to be able to say what you want. Trust me, I spent way too much of my dating life being too afraid to come right out and say what I wanted and needed. I have learned (the hard way) that you have to have that communication, even if you know it's not what your partner wants to hear. How can someone give you what you need if they don't have a clue what that is? Once the communication piece is in place, couples MUST learn the art of compromise. I am not talking about compromising who you are to appease your partner. I am not asking anyone to change who they are and what they like. However, everyone needs to be willing to go outside their comfort zone for the person they love. I go to bars with my guy because that's what he likes to do for fun. Is it what I would choose to do? Absolutely not. But I go because I love him, and that's just what you do. Same goes for Bengals games. Anyone that knows me knows I am not a football fan, and the idea of sitting outside in the freezing cold is definitely not my idea of a relaxing weekend. However, if my guy were to ask me to go with him, I would go. I would layer on the clothing, buy some heavy-duty gloves and a hat, plant a smile on my face, and be a good sport. However, compromise needs to be a two-way street. If it's one person giving in to the wants and needs of the other all the time, that is not compromise - that is not having a backbone. I asked my guy to go to IKEA with me today. I knew he didn't want to. I knew that was not his idea of fun. But do you know why I asked him? Because if I'm going to do things to make him happy, I deserve for him to go out of his way once in awhile and do the same for me. I was a little nervous about asking him to do it. What if he didn't want to go? What if he blew me off? Thankfully, he went willingly. I felt special. It meant the world to me that he would go on a shopping escapade and be a good sport about it. That stupid IKEA trip meant more to me than a dozen roses. He did something he didn't really want to do because he knew I would appreciate it. And I did. And I think he even enjoyed himself a little bit...joking about the crazy old lady who decided to tell me the entire story about why her husband was walking so slow, and spinning the cart in circles every time we got to a spot big enough to do so (next time you're at IKEA, try it! Those carts can SPIN!).
What I'm trying to say is that no relationship is perfect. Most likely, you're not going to agree all the time. You may be asked to do things you don't want to do, but you should do them out of love. If two people can agree to communicate and compromise with one another, I feel they can make it through pretty much anything. Yet if one person is not able to do those two things, I would worry about the relationship succeeding. Relationships need to be 50/50, and it takes both parties working hard and making sacrifices for things to work out.
And sadly, Brooke and Gary did not work out in "The Break-Up." I feel it was because they did not communicate properly, they both were not willing to compromise, and they did not appreciate one another.
Brooke: "I just don't know how we got here. Our entire relationship, I have gone above and beyond for you, for us. I've cooked, I've picked your shit up off the floor, I've laid your clothes out for you like you're a four year old. I support you, I supported your work. If we ever had dinner or anything, I did the plans, I take care of everything. And I just don't feel like you appreciate any of it. I don't feel you appreciate me. All I want is to know... is for you to show me that you care."
Gary: "Why didn't you just say that to me?"
Brooke: "I tried. I've tried."
Gary: "Never like that...you might have said some things that were meant to imply that, but I'm not a mind reader..."
Brooke: "It wouldn't matter... you are who you are. Just leave me alone, ok? Right now, just shut my door."
Gary: "Listen..."
Brooke: "Alright Gary, just please, just leave the room. Gary just... I don't want to be near you right now, please just shut the door, please."
We can all learn a lot from "The Break-Up." Watch it if you get the chance!
I am grateful for...
1.) My trip to IKEA.
2.) Sleeping in on the weekends.
3.) Communication and compromise.
Friday, November 21, 2008
On Being a Woman
I love being a female. I would not change it for the world. I love the girly clothes, I love the girly colors, I love the ability to belt out chicky pop songs in my car, I love being sensitive and hormonal, and I love being strong and smart. I also love all of the females in my life. Each one is unique in her own way, and inspires me daily. I have some friends who are perfectly content with being single, and choose to enjoy every second of it. I also have some friends getting ready to settle down with their men and live "happily ever after." And of course there are many in the middle of the spectrum, right alongside yours truly! I have friends that call me crying when the world seems to be crashing down all around them. I have friends that I can turn to when I need advice, a smile, or just to vent. I don't know what my world would be like without these amazing women in it. Not very much fun, and pretty darn lonely, if you ask me.
Another inspiring woman in my life is my mother. She may be reading this, as she recently joined the fabulous world of Facebook and now has access to my personal blog! Haha. She has always been a source of strength for me. My mother is amazing. She went back to college and completed her degree when I went to college. She went to class with students the age of her DAUGHTER. That takes some guts! Not only that, but she kept her job working at the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. How she balanced me, my brother, my father (child #3), her job, her studies, the housework, and her sanity....I'll never know! I always get cards from her on my birthday telling me how proud she is of me. I wish they made cards about daughter pride for their mothers! Sadly, they don't. But I will give her some public admiration on here, so I hope that counts for something...
When I was in the midst of walking away from a big chapter of my life (we'll call it "Relationship #3"), my mom was there for me. She told me the things she knew I needed to hear, along with the things she knew I wasn't going to like. That's love right there. She sent me an email forward that she knew I would like, but I don't think she ever knew just how much I appreciated it. I printed it off and have held onto it because I think it is so great. I try to follow it to the best of my abilities, and have recently checked some of the suggestions off my "To Do" list. It is claimed in the email forward that Maya Angelou wrote it, but that is apparently not true according to snopes.com. It was written by a woman by the name of Pamela Redmond Satran - a pretty smart lady by my standards! I have included the poem here for you to read, reflect, and perhaps even share with the sensitive and strong women in your lives.
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
By Pamela Redmond Satran
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....Enough money within her control to move out...And rent a place of her own even if she never wants to or needs to...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....Something perfect to wear if the employer or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...A youth she's content to leave behind....
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....A past juicy enough that she's looking forward to retelling it in her Old Age....
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....One friend who always makes her laugh...And one who lets her cry...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....A good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....Eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal that will make her guests feel honored...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....A feeling of control over her destiny...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...How to fall in love without losing herself..
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...how to quit a job, break up with a lover, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...When to try harder...And WHEN TO WALK AWAY...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... That she can't change the length of her calves, the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...That her childhood may not have been perfect...But it's over...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...What she would and wouldn't do for love or more...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...How to live alone...Even if she doesn't like it...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...Whom she can trust, whom she can't, and why she shouldn't take it personally...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...Where to go...Be it to her best friend's kitchen table...Or a charming inn in the woods...When her soul needs soothing...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...What she can and can't accomplish in a day...A month...And a year...
Another inspiring woman in my life is my mother. She may be reading this, as she recently joined the fabulous world of Facebook and now has access to my personal blog! Haha. She has always been a source of strength for me. My mother is amazing. She went back to college and completed her degree when I went to college. She went to class with students the age of her DAUGHTER. That takes some guts! Not only that, but she kept her job working at the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. How she balanced me, my brother, my father (child #3), her job, her studies, the housework, and her sanity....I'll never know! I always get cards from her on my birthday telling me how proud she is of me. I wish they made cards about daughter pride for their mothers! Sadly, they don't. But I will give her some public admiration on here, so I hope that counts for something...
When I was in the midst of walking away from a big chapter of my life (we'll call it "Relationship #3"), my mom was there for me. She told me the things she knew I needed to hear, along with the things she knew I wasn't going to like. That's love right there. She sent me an email forward that she knew I would like, but I don't think she ever knew just how much I appreciated it. I printed it off and have held onto it because I think it is so great. I try to follow it to the best of my abilities, and have recently checked some of the suggestions off my "To Do" list. It is claimed in the email forward that Maya Angelou wrote it, but that is apparently not true according to snopes.com. It was written by a woman by the name of Pamela Redmond Satran - a pretty smart lady by my standards! I have included the poem here for you to read, reflect, and perhaps even share with the sensitive and strong women in your lives.
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
By Pamela Redmond Satran
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....Enough money within her control to move out...And rent a place of her own even if she never wants to or needs to...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....Something perfect to wear if the employer or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...A youth she's content to leave behind....
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....A past juicy enough that she's looking forward to retelling it in her Old Age....
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....One friend who always makes her laugh...And one who lets her cry...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....A good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....Eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal that will make her guests feel honored...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....A feeling of control over her destiny...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...How to fall in love without losing herself..
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...how to quit a job, break up with a lover, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...When to try harder...And WHEN TO WALK AWAY...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... That she can't change the length of her calves, the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...That her childhood may not have been perfect...But it's over...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...What she would and wouldn't do for love or more...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...How to live alone...Even if she doesn't like it...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...Whom she can trust, whom she can't, and why she shouldn't take it personally...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...Where to go...Be it to her best friend's kitchen table...Or a charming inn in the woods...When her soul needs soothing...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...What she can and can't accomplish in a day...A month...And a year...
Nagging vs. Needing
I learned a very good lesson yesterday from "Maria" (name has been changed for privacy!). She and her husband have been going through a difficult patch of their marriage, and have sought out the advice of a marriage counselor. For the record, I think counseling is great. I don't view it as something for only the depressed or "sick" people...counseling is for everyone, and everyone should take advantage if they have the opportunity! Anyway...she shared that her counselor taught her something really smart about how we talk to the people we love. When we nag a significant other, we are not necessarily that upset about the actual "infraction." We don't really care about if our man forgot to load the dishwasher, plays too many video games, spends too much time at the bar, or leaves dirty laundry all over the house. We are upset because we NEED something. Nagging and needing go hand in hand. I thought about this, and totally agree. I have caught myself saying, "I hate it when you play video games all night!" or "Why do you always have to go to bars? Can't you just grow up?" In actuality, I could really care less about the stupid video games or the "boys nights out." I have a need - I need to feel that my significant other loves me and wants to spend quality time with me. But of course instead of saying, "I love spending time together, and I need for us to do it a little more often," I often nag. I say, "I hate how you are always playing video games." The focus is on my significant other doing something "wrong," and it is negative. I need to start phrasing things in a positive way and being honest about my needs and when I feel they are not being met. The focus needs to be on ME. Such an "Aha!" moment for me. Same with housework. "I hate when you leave your dirty clothes all over the place" should turn in to "I need to feel like we both work to keep the house clean. I need you to help me by putting your clothes in the hamper." I've been trained to talk to children like this with Responsive Classroom (http://www.responsiveclassroom.org/), but never thought about applying it to my personal relationships. I am going to make more of an effort to watch my language with the people I love. I can get my point across just as easily in a positive way as I could in a negative way. I just need to pay attention to how I phrase things!
Life Lessons and Gratitude
I have come to find that life has boundless lessons for you to learn if you are willing to be open and take them in. We all learn from each other. Everyone has experiences that someone else would benefit from hearing, so we must all be willing to share. In addition, I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. I fall down so that I may figure out a way to stand back up...stronger than ever. Every single thing that has happened to me can teach me a lesson....if I let it. Therefore, I have decided to include those "life lessons" that I gain each day in this blog. Some will be what I have learned from my own experiences, and others will be what I have learned from the experiences of others. Of course I will not use people's names...so don't worry! :)
I am also a firm believer that gratitude can make a huge difference in one's life. People have said this all along. Oprah had multiple shows dedicated to this topic a few (or more than a few) years back. Remember the gratitude journals she suggested?! Well I did that in high school, and it made a difference in my life. Taking the time to think of three things I was grateful for each day made me realize all of the big and small things that I have been blessed with. I have to admit that I let this practice stop for many years. I got so wrapped up in the world of college and young adulthood that I stopped taking the time to sit down each day and reflect on what I was grateful for. Then I read a wonderful book this summer called "The Secret." Yes, I thought it sounded silly too. However, if you have not already....READ IT! It has been such an inspiration for me. In this book they also talk about the power of gratitude. Here is a quote from "The Secret:"
"As soon as you start to feel different about what you have, you will start to attract more of the good things. More of the things you can be grateful for. You could look around and say, 'Well, I don't have the car I want. I don't have the house I want. I don't have the spouse I want. I don't have the health I want.' Whoah! Back up, back up! Those are all the things you don't want. Focus on what you already have that you're grateful for. And it might be that you have the eyes to read this. It might be the clothes that you have. Yes, you might prefer something else and you might get something else pretty soon, if you start feeling grateful for what you have" (Byrne, 2006, p. 77).
So starting today, I am going to take the time to reflect on three things that I am thankful for each day. Perhaps you could try this exercise as well. My life is pretty great, and I should stop and say "Thank You" more often! What better time to start being thankful than a week before Thanksgiving?!?!
I am grateful for...
1.) My family.
2.) My friends.
3.) My warm bed.
I am also a firm believer that gratitude can make a huge difference in one's life. People have said this all along. Oprah had multiple shows dedicated to this topic a few (or more than a few) years back. Remember the gratitude journals she suggested?! Well I did that in high school, and it made a difference in my life. Taking the time to think of three things I was grateful for each day made me realize all of the big and small things that I have been blessed with. I have to admit that I let this practice stop for many years. I got so wrapped up in the world of college and young adulthood that I stopped taking the time to sit down each day and reflect on what I was grateful for. Then I read a wonderful book this summer called "The Secret." Yes, I thought it sounded silly too. However, if you have not already....READ IT! It has been such an inspiration for me. In this book they also talk about the power of gratitude. Here is a quote from "The Secret:"
"As soon as you start to feel different about what you have, you will start to attract more of the good things. More of the things you can be grateful for. You could look around and say, 'Well, I don't have the car I want. I don't have the house I want. I don't have the spouse I want. I don't have the health I want.' Whoah! Back up, back up! Those are all the things you don't want. Focus on what you already have that you're grateful for. And it might be that you have the eyes to read this. It might be the clothes that you have. Yes, you might prefer something else and you might get something else pretty soon, if you start feeling grateful for what you have" (Byrne, 2006, p. 77).
So starting today, I am going to take the time to reflect on three things that I am thankful for each day. Perhaps you could try this exercise as well. My life is pretty great, and I should stop and say "Thank You" more often! What better time to start being thankful than a week before Thanksgiving?!?!
I am grateful for...
1.) My family.
2.) My friends.
3.) My warm bed.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Beginnings are usually scary...
I never in a million years thought I would ever start a Blog. Funny how I said a similar statement in my "Leaders" speech that I gave during my high school Kairos. And I quote... "I never thought in a million years that I would be giving a talk about being a leader." I didn't realize how exact I was...I just looked it up in my good 'ol Kairos folder (yes, I still have it!) and surprised even myself! Back to my point...some of the best things I have done in my life were things I at one point in time thought I would never do. And guess what... they are often times some of the best things I have done. So here goes nothing!
The reason I started this "Blog," or "public journal" as I will call it, is because I came across a woman who does this for a living. She writes all about her quest to live "happily ever after," and recounts, in great detail, her struggles and triumphs with her husband and child. If you're interested, visit www.projecthappilyeverafter.com. I recommend it! :)
This got me thinking...I have a lot to share! My life is interesting and exciting and confusing and all of the wonderful things this woman Alisa's life is. I like to think people can relate to me and...gasp!...could potentially even learn from me. I got to thinking about when people blog or post about their lives publicly for others to read. I found it is usually when they're getting married (theknot.com) or have children ("family" blogs). Well guess what? I am neither engaged, married, nor a mom. Heck, I just became a girlfriend 4 months ago!!! But I have thoughts and insights to share, and have been blessed with a love for words and writing. So here I am, attempting to share my life with you. Not really sure what I will discuss, and I am certainly not sure if anyone will be interested in reading what I have to say, but I am putting myself out there. Enjoy! :)
The reason I started this "Blog," or "public journal" as I will call it, is because I came across a woman who does this for a living. She writes all about her quest to live "happily ever after," and recounts, in great detail, her struggles and triumphs with her husband and child. If you're interested, visit www.projecthappilyeverafter.com. I recommend it! :)
This got me thinking...I have a lot to share! My life is interesting and exciting and confusing and all of the wonderful things this woman Alisa's life is. I like to think people can relate to me and...gasp!...could potentially even learn from me. I got to thinking about when people blog or post about their lives publicly for others to read. I found it is usually when they're getting married (theknot.com) or have children ("family" blogs). Well guess what? I am neither engaged, married, nor a mom. Heck, I just became a girlfriend 4 months ago!!! But I have thoughts and insights to share, and have been blessed with a love for words and writing. So here I am, attempting to share my life with you. Not really sure what I will discuss, and I am certainly not sure if anyone will be interested in reading what I have to say, but I am putting myself out there. Enjoy! :)
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