Where You Lead Me

I made some of the lyrics to one of the songs listed in my "Un-Plugging" entry very big and bold because they are some of my favorites. "Where you lead me, Lord, I will follow. Where you lead me, Lord, I will go. Come and heal me, Lord, I will follow. Where you lead me, Lord, I will go. I will go!" I am a firm believer that God has plans for all of us. He is willing to lead us in the direction that we are meant to go. All we need to do is listen and follow His lead.

In high school I began to feel called to the Pro-Life movement. God first nudged me in this direction when my Christian Ethics class watched a video about abortion called "The Silent Scream." If you are interested, you can view the video here. I will warn you that the video is very graphic and disturbing. If you are not pro-life now, I am pretty sure you will be after viewing this video!

After I felt God's nudge, I felt prompted to run for President of Ursuline's Teens for Life club. I was elected, and loved planning all kinds of pro-life activities. We went to the March for Life in Washington, D.C. We also focused on other forms of life in addition to the unborn. We wrote to elderly pen pals, visited the nursing home, hosted a Halloween party at an orphanage, and tried to "love on" people as much as we could. I had a blast organizing the activities during my Junior and Senior year.

I still felt God tugging at my heart strings in college and beyond. While I always stuck to my Pro-Life beliefs, I did not go out of my way to act on them. I knew what God wanted me to do, but I kept pushing His plans to the side. I didn't have time...I didn't know how to get involved...excuses, excuses! But the excuses ended one day at Crossroads as we sang the song mentioned above. I knew where God was leading me, and I knew I finally needed to follow!

Which brings me to my point of this post...
(I know...I sure do like to talk and give all necessary background information, don't I?!)

This summer I am going to volunteer at Pregnancy Center East, which is located near Rookwood in Hyde Park. I have turned in my application, interviewed, and now I just need to attend the trainings in May! It is such an incredible place. I will be answering phones, booking appointments, counseling women in crisis pregnancies, doing pregnancy tests, attending ultrasounds with my clients, and distributing diapers, clothes, etc. to women that choose to parent but can't afford the necessities. It will be my job to give women all of their options and what each one entails - parenting, adoption, or abortion. I am excited to help women work through their decision to parent or put their baby up for adoption. I am struggling to understand how I will handle situations where my clients know what happens in an abortion, but still choose that route. I know I will love them just as much, and will be there for them if they should need post-abortion counseling, but I know my heart will ache for that precious child. I ask that you please pray for me, that I will be able to trust God and turn my fears and sadness over to Him.

If you are interested in learning more about the center, you can visit their website here. I am blessed that God spoke to two of the girls in my "Free" small group, and they have decided to join me in volunteering this summer. If you, too, feel touched by this cause, by all means... contact me! I can help you with the process and answer any questions you may have. They have three shifts - two of which are in the morning/afternoon, but one is in the evening from 6:00 (or 6:30?) - 8:30, I believe. So even if you're not off work in the summers, there is still a way you can help!

God has prompted me to do this; He may be prompting you to do something completely different. The only piece of advice I can offer is to listen and follow wherever He is leading you.

God bless! :)

God, Church, and Everything in Between

I am very fortunate that my parents raised me knowing God. From a small child, I was aware of His presence in my life, knew many Bible stories, and made praying part of my bedtime routine. My parents chose to send me to Catholic grade school K-8, making God a priority in my education. Here I learned all of the rules, regulations, and traditions of the Catholic Church. I followed them to a tee - my parents called me "Sister Mary Kristi." I was always reminding them of the need to go to Church EVERY Sunday, and I would write down every POSSIBLE sin I had potentially committed prior to going to Confession. I was the "model Catholic child."

I continued this trend by going to an all-girl Catholic high school. I loved every minute of Ursuline - it truly was the perfect match for me. I was a retreat leader for both Junior Retreat and Kairos. I loved the idea of helping bring my peers closer in relationship with God and one another. I attended Church every Sunday, either with my family or alone. I was content with my relationship with God.

College came, and I didn't make the same effort I had made in the past to attend Church every Sunday. However, I still attended when home or on the occasional weekend at OU, and still held true to my Catholic morals and upbringing.

After college I tried to get back into Catholic Church. I had a hard time connecting with it, and oftentimes felt myself "zoning out" during the majority of the Mass. It didn't help that every guy I dated was Catholic, but not interested in going other than on holidays. I wanted to attend Church every week, but struggled with getting into the routine.

Now that you all know my (oh so interesting) Church upbringing, you can better understand my current relationship with God. It all began when I met my current boyfriend. Jason was raised Catholic, attended a Catholic high school, and yet did not share my desire to get into a Church "routine." He was content with Christmas and Easter, and didn't have any intention of going more often. I knew that I was going to have to "try on" some new Churches, in hopes of finding one that both of us could get excited about. Crossroads was the first place I tried, and it was an immediate fit for me. It was what I had been looking for in a Church - a relevant message that I can directly apply to my life, a friendship with God, and ways to get involved working with God's people. I was brought to tears during my first service - it was exactly what I had needed to hear! I was grateful that Mandi, Brett, and I had gone. The three of us went every weekend from that point on.

Jason was a different story. He didn't want to go with us. It wasn't "Church," as he said, which is actually what I had thought when one of my other friends, Kelly, had invited me to go a few years back. Every weekend I prayed for Jason, that God would touch his heart and invite him into a relationship with Him. There were many weekend services when tears filled my eyes; I wanted so desperately to have God and faith be a part of our relationship.

I "tricked" Jason into Crossroads during their GoCincinnati event. I told him it wasn't a service; just an opportunity to volunteer. He was NOT excited about it, especially because we had to be there at 7:30 a.m. on a Saturday! However, being the good boyfriend that he is, he decided to humor me and go. The day was spent serving fellow Cincinnatians and getting to know complete strangers. We had a BLAST! Multiple people spoke very highly of Crossroads to Jason, and I viewed that as God planting the seed in his heart.

After GoCincinnati, Jason agreed to go to services whenever it didn't interfere with baseball. It was hit-or-miss, and he insisted that he wasn't going to go regularly. At this point, I believe he was going for me. He knew it was important to me, and he knew it made me happy. Kind of like when I go to UC, Bengals, and Reds games for him! ;)

As the weeks went on, I saw firsthand God working in Jason's life. He truly had a change of heart, and eventually wanted to go every weekend with me. I could tell that he was going because HE wanted to, not because I wanted him to! We had deep, faith-filled conversations about God on a regular basis. His everyday behaviors started to change. The biggest outward sign of his change of heart were his conversations with others. Crossroads and God became commonplace topics, whether with his family, friends, or near-strangers at a bar! He shared (and continues to share) his story and relationship with God willingly and openly. I am so happy for him - there is nothing as necessary and fulfilling as a relationship with God!

Personally, I still struggle with my two faiths - my Catholic faith, and my Crossroads faith. It is hard for me when I talk with people that go to Catholic Church. I often feel like they don't view Crossroads as an acceptable Church, and that they almost think my relationship with God is different because of where I attend on the weekends. All I can say is that my relationship with God has strengthened tremendously since I made the switch. I look forward to Church every weekend. It oftentimes is the highlight of my weekend (I know that sounds sad, but that's how much I enjoy it!). I view God as a friend that is always there to guide me; he is not a judgemental God that I often felt the Catholic church portrayed Him as. I have a new-found faith in His plans for me; plans that are perfect and so much better than any plans I could make for myself! I listen to Christian music a lot, and feel a sense of peace singing praise-filled lyrics as opposed to what is on the radio (see my "Un-Plugging" entry for more on that!). I am a more generous person. I make it a point to donate money each week, something I never used to prioritize. I donate items for each drive they sponsor, and look forward to volunteering. I have met some wonderful friends by doing the "Free" journey in a small group. I have grown as an individual, I have grown as a child of God, and Jason and I have grown in relationship with each other.

I am so blessed to attend the Church that I do. I am blessed to realize that there is no "right" or "wrong" religion. There is one God, and I honestly don't think He cares if you go to a Catholic, Methodist, Baptist, non-denominational, or interdenominational Church. All He cares about is that you work on developing a relationship with Him. I am proud to serve such a loving and understanding God.

March for Macy

On Sunday, April 25th, Mandi, Brett, and TONS of friends and family members walked in the March for Babies walk benefiting the March of Dimes. It was a wonderful way to honor Macy Grace, and all babies that are born too early or with other complications. I walked with my mom and Jason, and it was such an uplifting experience. First of all, the outpouring of support and financial donations was unbelievable! I raised $360, and Team Macy Grace raised $2,907!!! Even more amazing is that we are in a recession, and yet people still find the means to be generous and help others.

I am amazed at how God is able to take some very tough and sad situations and bring joy and peace from them. I remember sitting in the waiting room at the hospital and praying so hard for Macy...I wanted her to hold on just a little longer so we could all love on her as much as possible before He took her to be with Him. I also remember praying for Mandi and Brett, for peace in their hearts, a solid relationship to get them through this rough spot, and for the opportunity to have a healthy baby here on earth. I am happy to report that all of my prayers came true. While Macy only lived 16 short hours, she was loved on as much as any baby could hope to be (and then some!) during that time!!! Mandi and Brett are truly at peace with God's plan for Macy. I admire them and sometimes wonder where they have found such enormous strength and peace. I am thankful that they're doing so well. I believe that their relationship has grown stronger since they were blessed with Macy. Jason and I have spent a lot of time with them as a couple, and we look to them as a model for what we want our relationship to be. We are so blessed to have them as friends, and have found them to be people that truly "grace" our lives in countless ways. I ask that you please continue to keep Mandi and Brett in your prayers. Please ask God to bless them with a healthy pregnancy and child. As Mandi always said during her pregnancy with Macy, "It doesn't matter if the baby is a boy or a girl...all that matters is that it is healthy!" How very true, and just another reason why they will make the most AWESOME parents! Macy is a lucky little girl to have them, and baby number two will be just as lucky when the day comes! :)

I am blessed to believe in a God that has plans more wonderful than my own. I am blessed that He gives us struggles in order to encourage us to grow. I am blessed that He brings rainbows after stormy weather. I am blessed that He gives us angels on Earth in the form of friends and family members. I am blessed...and for that, I am thankful. :)

Un-Plugging

I know it's been awhile since I have written, and I know I say that all the time before I write a post. So sorry! But I have a plan to (hopefully) change that, so keep reading! :)

J and I went to Crossroads tonight and experienced (yet another) wonderful service. I cannot express how much BOTH of our lives have been changed in a positive way since we have been going there. More to come on that later! But the service tonight was about how much of our lives are consumed with media that are feeding us messages, both positive and negative, and how we don't even realize it most of the time. The challenge this week is to "fast" from a form of media that often consumes us. The goal of this is to create some silence in our lives so that God's message to us can be more easily heard. I have decided to limit my Facebook use, because I allow it to waste soooo much of my time. I am also going to steer clear of mainstream radio and fill that time with songs that bring me closer to God. Last week Brian (a pastor at Crossroads) made us more aware of the lyrics of "Rude Boy." Just in case you haven't caught them on the radio, here are the lyrics as well as a link to the music video:

Rude Boy by Rhianna:
Come on rude boy, boy
Can you get it up
Come here rude boy, boy
Is you big enough
Take it, take it
Baby, baby
Take it, take it
Love me, love me
Come here rude boy, boy
Can you get it up
Come here rude boy, boy
Is you big enough
Take it, take it
Baby, baby
Take it, take it
Love me, love me
Tonight I'mma let you be the captain
Tonight I'mma let you do your thing, yeah
Tonight I'mma let you be a rider
Giddy up
Giddy up
Giddy up, babe
Tonight I'mma let it be fire
Tonight I'mma let you take me higher
Tonight Baby we can get it on, yeah we can get it on, yeah

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e82VE8UtW8A

Oh my...not a song that encourages me (or ANYONE, for that matter) to be a better person! And yet most of the songs played on KISS, Q102, etc. have similar messages. So this week I am going to listen to songs like the few listed below that send POSITIVE messages my way, in place of the ones that are played on mainstream radio.

Invitacion Fountain by the Violet Burning

Let all who are weak
All who are weary
Come to the Rock
Come to the Fountain
All who have sailed
On the rivers of heartache
Come to the sea
Come on, be set free!
If You lead me Lord, I will follow
Where You lead me Lord, I will Go
Come and heal me Lord, I will follow
Where You lead me Lord, I will go
I will go
Let all who are weak
All who are weary
Come to the Rock
Come to the Fountain
Let all who have climbed,
The mountains of heartbreak
Reach to the sky
Come on, and give your life
If You lead me Lord, I will follow
Where You lead me Lord, I will Go
Come and heal me Lord, I will follow
Where You lead me Lord, I will go
I will go
Heal me.
Heal me.
All who are weak
All who are weary
All who are tired
All who are thirsty
All who have failed
All who are broken
Come to the Rock
Come to the Fountain

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=67A2Lqskv-E&feature=related

Bring the Rain by Mercy Me

I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that I've gone through
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You
Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It's never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you, oh Lord
My only shelter from the storm
But instead I draw closer through these times
So I pray
Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain
I am Yours regardless of
The dark clouds that may loom above
Because You are much greater than my pain
You who made a way for me
By suffering Your destiny
So tell me what's a little rain
So I pray
Holy, holy, holy
Is the Lord God Almighty

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e8HgAVenbUU&feature=PlayList&p=2FFF0569A236D2C3&playnext_from=PL&playnext=1&index=27
The final song I am sharing with you is one that Mandi and Brett chose for their video to honor their beautiful daughter, Macy, that I spoke of in my last entry. More to come on that as well...God has done some wonderful things through Mandi, Brett, and most importantly, baby Macy!

Word of God Speak by Mercy Me

I'm finding myself at a loss for words
And the funny thing is it's okay
The last thing I need is to be heard
But to hear what You would say
Word of God speak
Would You pour down like rain
Washing my eyes to see
Your majesty
To be still and know
That You're in this place
Please let me stay and rest
In Your holiness
Word of God speak
I'm finding myself in the midst of You
Beyond the music, beyond the noise
All that I need is to be with You
And in the quiet hear Your voice
I'm finding myself at a loss for words
And the funny thing is it's okay

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BYu8ZyETnKo&feature=related

So in my "un-plugged" time this week, I plan to do a lot more blogging! Writing has always been a form of meditation for me, and I feel that oftentimes what I write is prompted by God. So you should be hearing a lot more from me this week as I "un-plug" my media and tune in to God!

When Trusting in His Plan Gets Tough

"Trust in the Lord with all of your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding.
In all your ways, acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths."
~Proverbs 3: 5-6

This has always been one of my favorite verses from the Bible. It is even on my Facebook profile under "favorite quotes," and I have made mention to it in past blog entries. But it has never held the meaning that it does now.

A near and dear friend of mine lost her baby girl a week ago. Actually, at 8:40 (in about 3 mins. from now as I am writing this post) exactly a week ago today, Macy entered the world way too soon. Yet even as a 3 lb. little girl, you could tell she had such an excitement for life. I watched her mom smile and glow over her precious child. I also watched her cry after her baby left this world. That's not something you want to see your friend go through. It's not something you want to see ANYONE go through.

The whole time I kept thinking, "This isn't fair. If this is God's plan, it sucks. They deserved a better plan. They would've been the best parents. They so wanted their little girl. And that little girl deserved to spend more than 16 short hours with her amazing parents. Where is God in all of this?!"

That was a dark place. A place that I luckily did not stay in for long. God showed Himself in many ways on Monday and Tuesday. He allowed for my friend to make it to Children's Hospital in time to visit with her daughter before she went to Heaven. He gave Macy's parents the strength they needed to enjoy her while they had her instead of dwelling on their sadness. He gave them laughter, gave them kisses, gave them tears. Tears that were an outward sign of inward emotion...how much love they had for her, and how disappointed they were to see her go. God gave them their family and friends to surround them with love and support. God gave them time to take in her sweet face and say their hellos and goodbyes. While it wasn't what anyone would have chosen, it was beautiful. It was, in my opinion, God's idea of Greatness. (Crossroads reference there for those of you that go!)

God did not leave them hanging after their goodbyes on Tuesday. He stuck around and made sure they were well cared for. I saw the teachers where we work rally to prepare meals, write cards, send fruit, and just pray for them. I saw peace and stillness as they worked to prepare a memorial service for sweet baby Macy. I saw beautiful pictures that my mother took tell the entire story of Macy's short life. I saw hope, I saw faith, I saw friendship, and I saw love - in the truest definition there is.

I still struggle with the "why's." It doesn't make any sense to me. I'm sure it doesn't make any sense to them. But if I've learned anything from my faith, it is that God's plan is often very different from our own plan. It doesn't have to make sense to us; He knows what He is doing. We just have to keep faith and trust that His plans are better than our own, even when it doesn't appear that way.

On Sunday, Jason and I went with Macy's parents to Church (one of my absolute favorite weekend activities!). The last song we sang held so much truth to what they have had to go through:

"Dwell in the midst of us.
Wipe all the tears from our faces.
Dwell in the midst of us.
You can have your way."

The main verse that we recited over and over and over again was:

"Not my will, but yours be done."

All I kept thinking was of my dear friend reciting these words, with new meaning behind them. This sure wasn't her will, and I know this was the absolute last thing she would've wanted to happen. Yet she has so graciously turned her wants and needs over to God, and has taken up her Cross. Again, a living example of God's definition of Greatness.

I am lucky to have my friends and family. I am lucky to have a God that is so Great and so loving. Without either of these, life would seem pretty meaningless. I am just thankful that Macy got to spend her short 16 hours of life with God, family, and friends. Sweet dreams, little girl. We all love and miss you...

I Get By With a Little Help from My Friends

Last weekend Jason and I went to Crossroads, one of my new favorite weekend activities. The topic of the service was friendship, and it really got me thinking about my friends. (If you're interested in watching the service, go here.) So I decided to dedicate a post on my very neglected blog to those special friends that have blessed my life. While I have many friends and acquaintances, these are the people who have shaped my life in important ways. I have listed them in the order that I met them.

This is my oldest friend, Alison. We met in kindergarten, and she moved away from Ohio when we were in 4th grade. Most of the time when this happens, kids lose touch with their friends because of the distance. Well, not Alison and I! We have maintained a friendship through the years, and distance has not really affected us. We have made many visits to see each other (such as this one, in the Fall of 2008). She is a friend that no matter how long it's been since our last phone call, be it days, months, or even years...we can always pick up right where we left off. I turn into a giddy 5 year old when I am with her, laughing and reminiscing about our "Radio Show" and mint cups. We got to see each other grow up, and were there for each other during all of life's ups and downs. I am lucky to have such a dear friend for such a long amount of time.

Julia is my friend from Ursuline that I have kept in touch with the most. We met our freshman year, and I could post some very embarrassing pictures of us up here (but I won't)! Although, this picture is not the best...we need some new pictures together, Jules! We went through the whole "growing up" phases of life together...high school, transitioning to college, and now being real adults in the working world. She has met every single guy I've dated, and wasn't afraid to give me her opinion of them all! ;) I know I can trust Julia with anything, and she knows me for who I truly am. We have shared beliefs about countless topics, and were president and vice for Teens for Life at UA. We were an awesome team together! While we don't get to see each other nearly enough, I know Julia and I will always share a special friendship.

This is one of my first "new" friends I met at OU, Jackie. I met Jackie in the hallways of our dorm - she was crying because of a stupid boy (haha) and I stopped to make sure she was okay. We have been best friends ever since. Jackie is one of those people that I can tell anything and everything to without feeling judged. I like to think I know her pretty well, and I know she knows pretty much everything there is to know about me! I have many fond memories of laughing until we were crying, complaining about silly boys, making pizzas (or going to Goodfellas!) after late nights at OU, and crying together when we had to leave one another for the summers. I wish she lived closer, but despite the distance, we still talk at least once a week. While you are never sure who you will keep in touch with after graduation day, I have always known Jackie and I would be friends forever. I can't wait to see what life has in store for the two of us!

Sarah and I met through our sorority at OU, AOII. While there were times I doubted my choice to join a sorority, after I met Sarah, I knew it was a great decision. We became fast friends after our retreat, where we stayed up and talked all night while the other girls were doing who-knows-what. Even though she lived in a different dorm freshman year, she came over to my dorm to hang out with us and watch "The Bachelor" and other shows we were all obsessed with. Sophomore year we lived in the AOII house together, which was the size of a very small cubicle. You want to get to know someone quickly, you share next to no space with them for a year! We also lived together our Junior and Senior year at 50. This past year, I had the opportunity to live with her again in my Mason apartment for a few months. Sarah is one of those friends that will listen no matter what, and always thinks of me (I love my yearly birthday cards!). I can't wait to be in her wedding this Sept., and I know she will be in mine someday! :)

Kelly and I met when we were in a Partnership at OU for education majors. We were placed in the same first grade classroom together, which was destiny, if you ask me! We got hired at the same school right out of college, teach the same grade, and our rooms have always been side by side. While we make a good team as teachers, we also make a good team as friends. Kelly is an honest friend that I can always count on when I need an opinion. She has seen me though the good and the bad of relationships, always there with support and advice. I was lucky enough to be in her wedding this past summer, and it was beautiful! So was she - see the above picture for proof! While she lives a decent drive away now in Dayton, she and Shawn will soon be moving to Cincinnati. I am so excited to spend more time with her, and I know there are many great memories waiting for us!

Mandi and I met when we were both hired to teach 1st grade. Even though she is one of my newest friends, she has quickly become one of my closest friends! Mandi is someone that I can talk with for hours on end, and she always has the best advice. She knows exactly what I need in my life - heck, she introduced me to Jason (my boyfriend, for those of you that don't know!), and even encouraged me to build a house in her neighborhood! I love spending time with her on the weekends, and our "boys" get along great. We started going to Crossroads together, which has strengthened both of our spiritual lives and our friendship. Our dogs, Sadie and Hunter, are best buddies...whenever Sadie gets loose outside, I know I can always find her three doors down at Hunter's house looking for her boyfriend! I am so lucky to have such a great neighbor, co-worker, and friend. I can't wait until she has her first baby in May - it will be spoiled rotten! :)

I always have said that someday I want to marry my best friend. Well, I can honestly say that Jason has quickly become one of my best friends over the past year or so! He knows how to make me smile and laugh, and we always have fun together no matter what we do. He has brought out a side of me that no one else really has been able to. I love that he has encouraged me to be the person that I am today. I love that we go to Church every weekend together, and can talk about the topic and share our thoughts on God and religion. We can talk about anything, and it is comforting to know that we are 100% truthful and honest with one another. He trusts me (as he darn well should!), and encourages me to go after my dreams, no matter what they might be. When I decided to build a house by myself, he was nothing but supportive. He didn't ask what was in it for him, or worry that I was being too "independent." He was glad that I could take care of myself, and he respects me more for that. While our relationship and friendship are not "perfect" by any means (whose really is, quite honestly?!), I know that I can tell him anything and that we will work through anything. I love him so much, as my boyfriend and my friend, and I can't wait to see what the future has in store for us!

Overall, I am so blessed with everyone that I have in my life. There are many other friends from high school, college, and work that I could have included in this post. I also could have included my family (who I consider among my best friends, as well), and even Jason's family. For the sake of time, I did not, but know that I love and appreciate everyone that God has put in my life. I am one lucky and loved girl!

Life is Good (Cont'd)

I finally got the picture uploader up and working again, so here are the most current pictures:

Me in front of the house

By the front door/in the family room

Family room / Dining room

Upstairs (loft; extra bedroom door, hall closet)

Master bedroom (such a mess!)

Not really a whole lot else to report. I hope you enjoyed the pics! :)

I almost forgot!

I am grateful for...

1.) My amazing boyfriend, friends, and family that I get to share my life with.

2.) The fact that my house will (hopefully!) be finished by the end of June! Wahoo!!!

3.) 10 more days of school to go! But I will miss my kiddies though...