I Saw God Today

I know, I know...I have been a Blog procrastinator yet again! Have no fear...I had some inspiration today!!!

On my late drive to work today (LOVE snow days and two hour delays!), I heard the song, "I Saw God Today" by George Strait (click the link for the full song lyrics). It really got me thinking. While most of the song is about babies (which I do believe are gifts from God, of course!), the part that really struck me is as follows:

"I've been to Church,
I've read the good book.
I know He's here, but I don't look,
near as often as I should.
Yeah, I know I should.
His fingerprints are everywhere,
I just slowed down to stop and stare,
Opened my eyes and man I swear,
I saw God today."

I am fortunate to see God EVERYWHERE. Sure, I don't often stop to realize it, but He really is everywhere. I should be thankful for everything He touches and everything He has blessed me with. Here is how I saw God today (Friday, Jan. 30th, 2009):

*In the ice coated trees
*In the smiles of "my kids"
*In my friend that helped me clean off my ice-coated car for a few minutes before she left for home
*In the greeting of my dog
*In the sun I saw driving to and from work (boy, have I missed it!)
*In the "light bulb" moments of learning how to read
*In the kiss from my boyfriend as I arrived home
*In the 2-hour delay and the school day that FLEW by!

How did you see God today???

Anyhow...

You all know I love Alisa's blog "Project Happily Ever After." Well, she's having this contest and the prize is a Wii! She has a list of all these ways you can get points towards winning the Wii, and one way is to link your blog to hers. Well, you all know I have already done that, so that's an easy one for me! I'm not doing it for a Wii though...you really should check out her blog. She's a great writer. I know I've already gotten my "little" addicted! ;) I love her advice, and crack up while learning things in the meantime. Therefore, I can't pick just ONE of her blog entries to share as my "favorite." But check out her "I'm Thankful For..." entry, because I think we should all start our own gratitude projects!!! Happy Reading!!!

On that note...

I am grateful for...
1.) Seeing my kids today, even when I didn't really feel like leaving the house - I missed them!
2.) Free laundry courtesy of my boyfriend! Haha.
3.) Seeing God in everything and being grateful.

Advice for a Future Daughter

Okay, so I know this sounds totally corny, but hear me out...

As I write this, a third grade girl is sleeping in my guest room (AKA "Sadie's room"). She was a former student of mine that I have nannied over the summers, and she has been begging to have a slumber party at my apartment! So I agreed, and we did all the girly things...watched movies, popped popcorn, wore our PJ's, and chatted. It was fun - for her and for me! This got me thinking about the future and how much I would love to have a daughter someday. Technically I want one of each, but I feel like I would know "what to do" more with a girl than a boy. Hopefully my future hubby could handle all the "guy" things - sports, dirt, wrestling, farting/burping (haha), and all of that!

So as silly as this sounds, I have been thinking about some advice I would want to offer my daughter someday. Things I have learned along the way that I think would be beneficial for her. I share them with all of you because maybe some of these might be applicable to you as well! :)

Advice for my Daughter

*Think about what makes you happiest and pursue those; follow your passion.

*Never forget about your girlfriends. Boyfriends will come and go, but those girls will always be there for you. Even when you do settle down with a boy someday, you will need good girlfriends in your life!

*Live by yourself for at least a year. You will learn a lot, and it's not as scary as it seems!

*See if you can picture the guy you're dating as a good dad. Why? Because good dads are kind, giving, protective, patient, and compassionate - a lot of good qualities you'll want for your future kids and for yourself!

*Wait until you're engaged to move in with a guy. You know the whole, "Why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free?" thing? It's true (I would say 99% of the time...).

*When you do move in with a guy, expect the first year to be hard. It's an adjustment. He's a roommate, but probably a messier, less organized version than your female roommates were. But that's okay - ask for help, and be willing to compromise.

*You're never too old to sing and dance by yourself, in your car, or out in public. Have fun!!!

*Don't be in a rush to grow up. Things will happen for you when they are supposed to. (This is a hard one - I know!) Live in the moment and enjoy every second!

*Talk on the phone and have conversations that last for hours. I have learned a lot about my friends, family, and myself by doing so. (Be sure to remind me of this piece of advice when you are older and I am upset about the phone bill! Tell me to buy you the unlimited plan.)

*Learn how to cook. I never did, and I wish I would have.

*Go to college and be sure to live in the dorms. You will meet some of your best friends there. By the way - college is not a place to meet your husband, but where you will meet many of your bridesmaids!

*Keep in touch with at least one or two friends from each stage of life (grade school, high school, college, career). These people will help tell your life story, and great friendships never fade!

*Be sure to say "I love you," "I'm sorry," and "Thank you" on a regular basis.

*Take lots of pictures. You will want them to look back on!

*When you are sad, frustrated, or upset - cry! There is nothing wrong with it, and it makes you feel a whole lot better!

*Don't get caught up in petty fights. Let the little things roll off your back. However, if an important issue comes along, stand your ground. Voice your opinion in a strong yet calm manner.

*Help others. Hold the door for people. Smile and say "hello" to the people you pass. If someone asks for help, say "yes." It is better to do good than to do nothing.

*Before you have a baby, get a dog. You will learn the amount of patience, love, and work that is needed to care for something that seems "cute." You will also learn how to put something else and its needs ahead of your own.

*Put 10% of your paycheck into a savings account. Try not to touch it, but I understand that sometimes you need a little extra cash. If you take some out, put it back in when you can.

*Invest in a 401K or some other retirement savings program. You will not notice the amount out of your paycheck each month, but it will add up. And since you can't take it out, you won't be tempted to touch it! :)

*Even when you're married, keep some things solely in your name (a credit card, bank account, etc.). You will need this to keep your credit score on the high side. Even though you'll want your marriage to last forever (and I'll want it to last forever, too!), sometimes things happen and you'll need good credit to move on financially.

*Try everything you are exposed to once. If you don't like it, don't do it ever again. But you'll often regret the things you didn't do more than the things that you did.

*Be spiritual. This is not the same thing as being religious. Try out different places of worship if you want to. Believe in a higher power and understand that your life has meaning. You are on this Earth for a very important reason.

*Decorate your room, apartment, home (wherever you are living!) with pictures of those you love and those that love you. Surround yourself with good people.

*Never be afraid to love. Yes, there is a chance you'll get hurt, but love anyway. If you do get hurt (which you probably will), know that you'll be okay.

*Know that your mom wanted you and loved you long before you ever existed. :)

I am grateful for...
1.)My own mother, because she is a great one!
2.)My little "slumber party" tonight.
3.)My boyfriend - he is amazing and I am lucky to have him in my life! :)

Happy New Year!

Sorry for the lack of posts...you would think that I would have countless amounts of hours to sit and write over break, but I haven't! I have really enjoyed the lunches/dinners with family and friends, shopping, holiday festivities, sleeping in, and fun outings that this break has included! I won't go into all the details, but just know that it has been very busy and a lot of fun!

Speaking of which, 2008 seemed to fly by in the blink of an eye! I think about all that has changed in my life this past year. A new place to live, a new guy to love, some new friends to spend time with, and quite the different social life! While there have been many ups and downs this past year, I am so happy with how things have turned out. I have no ill will toward anyone, I am surrounded by kind and loving people, and I have learned so much about myself and the wonderful life I am living. What more could I ask for?!?!

I know I should probably come up with a New Year's Resolution or two, but there isn't a whole lot I would change about my life. However, I have come to learn that one can ALWAYS better oneself. So here is a "Top Ten" list of things I hope to do or continue doing in 2009:

1.) Make sure the people I love know that I love them. Life is way too short, and tomorrow is not guaranteed. In my opinion, you can never hear or say "I love you" too much!
2.) Make time for friends by organizing more get-togethers. This will include girls' nights, couples' dinners/get-togethers, and other fun activities (I will be brainstorming!).
3.) Dedicate one day a week to stay after school to catch up on planning, grading, and the like. Why do I feel like I have gotten so far behind all of a sudden?!?!
4.) Continue being grateful for all that I have been blessed with, and taking time each day to reflect on my gratitude.
5.) Do one thing alone a month - shopping, bookstore, movie, SOMETHING!
6.) Try to savor the last 6 months I have with my students instead of eagerly awaiting the summer months. Summer will come soon enough, and I need to realize that once my students leave in June, I will more than likely not see most of them again. :(
7.) Live in the present. I need to stop looking forward to the future and trying to plan my life out the way I think it should be. I should be happy with where I am in this present moment.
8.) Work out more. Boy, have I gotten bad about going to the gym! I need to go AT LEAST once a week. More would be great, but once a week compared to never is a start! Haha.
9.) Cut down on my soda intake! Yes, I don't drink coffee, and Coke is my "wake up" in the morning so that I can handle a room of six and seven-year-olds. But I need to cut it down to one or two sodas a day instead of what I currently drink!
10.) Put myself first. This sounds easy, but it is not for me. While I should take other people's needs and wants into consideration, I need to remember that I will never be happy if I always put other people's needs before my own. I saw on Oprah or Dr. Phil or something a comparison between this and what they tell you on the airplane - "Put your oxygen mask on yourself before anyone else, because if not, you may not be able to help others." (Or something along those lines!)

I hope everyone takes some time to sit down and think about New Years Resolutions for 2009. I know it can sometimes sound a little corny, but what a great opportunity to look at your life and pick a few areas to improve upon!

Check out Alisa's blog about her marital resolutions for 2009: http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2008/12/new-year-new-marriage-12-marital-resolutions-worth-keeping/.
I know I am not married, and some of you reading this probably aren't married either. However, she makes a lot of good points as to what we can all work on in our relationships, whether married or not. My personal favorites are numbers 1, 2, 4, 5, 6, and 11. But that is just me - you may have your own favorites! ;)

Cheers to a fabulous New Year!!! 2009 will be DEVINE!!!

Barnes and Nobles and Starbucks

I ventured out to Barnes and Nobles tonight for the last Christmas gift I had to get this holiday season. I also had multiple Starbucks gift cards to use from my class gifts last year when no one realized I wasn't a fan of coffee! So I decided to get rid of a few bucks on one card and ordered a peppermint hot chocolate to take home with me. Boy was I surprised when the Starbucks guy said, "Sorry, we don't accept Starbucks gift cards here." WHAT?! This IS a Starbucks, right?!?! I decided to keep with the cheery, Christmas spirit and happily pay for my hot chocolate with my debit card. I figured it was more graceful than what I really wanted to tell the Starbucks worker.

After I got my cup of cocoa, I perused the book shelves of said bookstore. Of course I found myself in the "self help" section, because I think the best books one can buy are those about bettering oneself. I took four potentials back to the Starbucks table to read through while I drank my warm (and sadly, not free!) drink. One was a book about living alone and loving it, one was about Kermit the Frog's advice about life, one was about putting lipstick on and all would be right with the world (REALLY stupid book...looked through it in about 30 seconds before putting it down), and another was about that poem, "Do it anyway." The Kermit the Frog book and the "Do it Anyway" book were the only potential "keepers" in the stack. However, I did not purchase either one. I did, however, come across another book while putting the other four away and swearing I was not going to buy a book for ME, as I was at B&N only to buy the Christmas gift. Whoops. I ended up purchasing, for a mere $12.95, a book called "The 10 Women You'll Be Before You're 35." From what I can tell from the back, it discusses the ten people I will apparently be before I'm 35 - new graduate (check), dollarless diva (check), worker bee (CHECK!), party girl (possible check?), body-conscious babe (semi-check), chameleon (?), crisis chick (?), Ms. Independence (currently? maybe?), Wirl (half woman/half girl), True You. Hmmm. Sounds good to me, I suppose. I'll let you know how the book is. And which of these "women" I currently am. And any good quotes I come across (there are a lot of quotes in the book - one reason it was the chosen book of the night!).

I also noticed something while at Barnes and Noble tonight. As I sat there sipping my hot chocolate and flipping through random books, it suddenly occurred to me that I was actually happy being alone. I didn't want anyone else there with me. I was content doing my own thing, and I actually LIKED it. I think I am finally starting to grasp how important it is for everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, to have "me" time alone. I actually found a quote in my new book to share about this!

"Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one." - Eleanor Roosevelt

I also read something along those lines in my favorite blog thus far. You know, the one that inspired me to start a blog of my own. Check out Alisa's post about this topic:
http://www.projecthappilyeverafter.com/2008/12/how-to-get-a-life/
Side note : Want to hear something cool? Alisa noticed a lot of "traffic" coming from my blog to hers , so she checked out my blog. She even took the time to post comments on my first entry (beginnings are usually scary)! I thought that was pretty cool. I didn't think anyone would ever read this thing, aside from a few friends and co-workers. Who would've thought?!?!

I realize I've digressed...

The one thing I would like to leave all of you with (whomever that may be!) is a challenge. Do one thing in PUBLIC alone this week. No significant others, no friends, no kids, NO ONE is allowed to go with you! This could be eating alone, going to a movie alone, shopping alone, drinking hot chocolate while reading books at a book store alone (hint, hint!), or even just going for a walk alone. It is quite liberating to be with no one but yourself. Maybe a little awkward at first, but I bet you'll enjoy it the way I learned to. Give it a try, and let me know how it goes!

One last thought for the night...
I have to share Sadie's latest "Marley" moment with all of you. My parents watched Sadie on Friday while #4 and I went to his company Christmas party and stayed downtown. Well we think she ate a lamb from their nativity scene while she was over there! My mom can't find it anywhere. So I am waiting for Sadie to poop out a white lamb (or pieces of it if she chewed before swallowing, which isn't always the case with Sadie!). My mom wants me to take her to the vet for X-rays. I am debating this because 1.) no one actually SAW her eat the lamb, we're just ASSUMING that's what happened to it and 2.) I have concluded that Sadie's digestive system is made out of steel. If she hasn't died yet from all the crap she's eaten, I highly doubt a lamb will be the end of her.

I am grateful for...
1.) Panera lunches with friends that last for HOURS!
2.) A much-needed break from work.
3.) Reading alone in public (even if I did get funny looks while reading the "Kermit the Frog" book!).

Why My Life is So Great

I don't feel like writing a lot, especially because I should be in bed right now. So here is a quick list about why my life is so great. And yes, I am a little partial! ;)

*I have a great family, and have a great relationship with my parents.
*I got my dream job right out of college. How lucky is that?!
*I can afford an apartment and furnishings all by myself.
*I have the sweetest dog ever, even if she can have her moments at times...
*I get hugs and am told everyday how great I am by "my kids."
*I have kept in touch with my close friends, and I know for a fact we'll stay friends forever! I still have my best friend from kindergarten, and multiple friends from high school and college.
*I have branched out and met new people, including a few girls I work with that now are among some of my closest friends.
*I have a good heart, and genuinely want what's best for everyone.
*I have a wonderful assortment of children's books.
*I am smart and motivated to succeed in life.
*I can read people easily, and am usually a good judge of character.
*I believe in God and can trust in His plan for me.
*I smile at people I pass, even if they don't smile back.
*I know how to love, and how to accept love in return.
*I surround myself with good, kind people, and they in turn help my life to be good and kind.
*I know who I am, and I choose to be that person each and everyday.

I don't mean to sound conceited. I just had been feeling a little "down" in my last few posts, and needed to remind myself of all I have going for me! It worked - I'm a pretty cool and lucky girl! :)

I am grateful for...
1.) Who I am.
2.) Cuddling with Sadie.
3.) Pending snow! :)

Thoughts about Relationships

Tonight I've been thinking a lot about relationships...past, present, and future. Here are a few of those thoughts, as random and as scattered as they may be...

Past

I have come to the realization that I was practically married to guy #3. I basically lived at his house, cleaned, took care of our "baby" (Sadie), decorated the house, and tried desperately to make the relationship work. I got into such a routine with him...I called him every day as I was leaving work and asked what he wanted to do for dinner. I tried to coordinate weekend plans so that we could have a "date night" one night and he could have a night out with his friends the other. I let my world revolve around him because I figured he would possibly one day be my husband. But then I woke up one day and realized that I wasn't married to him, and that I was giving him his cake and letting him eat it, too. I had lost myself. I was an unhappy married woman, when in fact I wasn't even really married at all...

Present

I have found these "routines" of guy #3 creeping into my relationship with guy #4. I am so accustomed to "married dating life" that I feel like I've forgotten what "newly dating life" is like. I still like to know what he wants to do for dinner, but have found that sometimes those plans don't involve me. I get frustrated when I feel like we don't have "date nights" and instead spend our entire weekend in groups at bars. I somewhat mentioned this in the last blog, when I felt like I was PMSing but really wasn't. I had a bit of a breakdown that night because it has all gotten too much to bear sometimes. It's like I want to skip over all this beginner dater's crap and get to the "good stuff" in my opinion. So I told him how I desperately needed a night this weekend to be just "us." So we did, and it was FABULOUS. We went out to dinner at Palomino's downtown, overlooking Fountain Square and all of the holiday festivities. We checked out the ice skating rink, but decided it was much too cold to brave the ice! (Plus, I would've fallen on my butt more than likely! Haha.) We rented movies and watched one that night, as he nudged me every so often to make sure I was awake (which I was about 50% of the time!). All of my teacher friends out there can vouch for me on how hard it is to stay awake during a movie on a Friday night after a week of 6 and 7 year olds! I felt much better about things after our date night. My needs were met, and I could stop the nagging! I hope we can do it again sometime soon.

Future

#4 called me tonight, and we had a good conversation (as always!). Time lines came up in the conversation, and he asked me why I feel like I have to be married by 30. I explained that if I get married at 30, and my husband wants to wait a few years before kids, that puts me at 32 or 33 with my first kid. And then my 2nd would be when I'm like 35 or 36, which would be hard to get pregnant and more risky for the baby. Yes, I think about these things! Then he asked me what would happen if I did get married someday and couldn't get pregnant. Couldn't I be happy with just my husband? Hmmm... I didn't want to sound like some maternal nutcase, but the answer was practically "as a last resort, yes I could." I explained that if that were the case, I would try infertility treatments and then adoption if those didn't work. And if in the end I was still without a child after years and years of trying, I would assume God had other plans for me than parenthood and I would try to live a happy life. But do you know how hard that would be for me?! Anyone that knows me knows how much I love children. That's the whole reason I am a teacher! The idea of never having any of my own scares the crap out of me. I feel like I was put on this Earth to be a teacher and a mother (and of course a wife, too!). Family is everything to me. I can't picture a family without children, I just can't. So I may sound selfish, and I may be somewhat living on a timeline, but I just can't compromise on that. And I am typically ALWAYS willing to compromise! Luckily, #4 is great with kids. I know he wants them, whether he thinks that's in three or ten years from now. But that conversation kind of scared me - should I be okay with the possibility of not having kids, or do I have the right to not accept that fate unless absolutely necessary? And am I crazy for thinking about this at 25?! Oh my...

Relationship with me

#4 went to the Bengals game with friends today, and then out to celebrate their win (WOW!) at some bars afterwards. I was invited, but couldn't go due to my stupid Master's paper (yuck). Once the paper was done in the early evening, I found myself sitting around waiting on #4. Would he want me to make dinner? Should I drive downtown and meet him at the bars? I decided I was reverting back to "Married Kristi," as I was when I was with #3. My life should NOT revolve around someone else until I am married. And even when I am married, I shouldn't "revolve" aroud someone else...but work with their schedule and needs, I suppose. This is hard for me, because I am a natural born giver. I want to make everyone happy, and I want to make people feel valued and loved. I am also the type that likes to be around people. I lived with my family all my life, then roommates that became family in college, then #3, and now it's just Sadie and me. Most of the time I am okay with living alone. Many times I actually like it. But there are some times when I miss the company of others. I want someone to eat dinner with. I want to watch TV with a companion. Tonight was one of those nights. So what did I do? I showered, made myself presentable, and went SHOPPING!!! I needed some new "going out" clothes (since I go out so much more often now!), and I had a coupon for 15% off at Kohl's. Then I went to Target because I had a gift card. By the time I got home, I wasn't lonely anymore...even though I was alone the entire time I shopped! I am learning that this whole living alone thing is a process, and one day I won't feel the need to ask #4 over for dinner so often. And that will probably be the day when I will have someone to eat dinner with every night. I am beginning to understand that before I can have someone around all the time, I need to be content being alone with just me. So I am working on that!

I am grateful for...
1.) The two new necklaces I bought tonight! Can't wait to wear them!
2.) Learning it's okay to be alone.
3.) Trusting in God's plan for me.

PMS with no period?!?!

I apologize in advance to any men that may have happened upon my blog. I recommend you stop reading this particular entry....NOW. (Haha)

Anyway...tonight I feel like I usually do right before I start my period. You ladies know... emotional, pissy, and even dare I say it? A little bitchy. But the strange thing is that I am not getting my period anytime soon! So I guess I just have a bad case of the Mondays...I mean...Thursdays...

It started when I got my hair cut. It is so short! Much shorter than I think I had requested. It will grow, as it always does. But that did not put me in a very good mood. After the haircut fiasco...

My guy and I had our first official "discussion" of our relationship tonight. I won't call it a fight, because that's not what it was. But we were both tired and cranky, and for some reason I fixated on not getting to see him tonight and it all just spiraled down from there. Side note - do you ever just feel the need for a hug? Or to be cuddled? I don't know why, but I was sooooo craving that tonight. Hence why I was probably upset when I found out I wasn't going to see him as I had hoped. I suppose Sadie will have to do for now...

I am happy to report that all is well in the relationship department. I get to plan a date for us to do tomorrow night, and he has promised that we will not end up at a bar at any point in the night. I am so excited! I have a couple ideas about what we might do...all are interactive and all help to create QUALITY time together! I've really needed that. I don't know why, but hanging out in a group at bars just doesn't qualify as quality time in my book anymore. But maybe that's just the 40-year-old lady that lives in my 25-year-old body talking! ;)

The funniest part of the night was after I got off the phone with him. Feeling like I was PMSing (when seriously...I'm NOT!), I decided that Skyline chili dip sounded like the best option for dinner. I filled the bottom of the glass bake ware with cream cheese (fat free! I promise!), and went to dump in the can of chili. Well what do you know? It was a can for a 3-way...noodles in the chili and all! Ewwww. Now I was faced with a dilemma - what to do next? Throw away the cream cheese and noodles/chili? Make it anyway and eat the dip with noodles? Well, I made it...noodles and all. I must say that it wasn't very good. But I was pissy and in need of a fattening meal, gosh darn it! So word to the wise...double check the cans of Skyline before buying!

On a happier note, there were some positives to my day (as there always are). My kids made me "notes," as has become the trend within the past two weeks for some reason. My favorite today was written by a little girl, and all it said was, "We are koalas. We never give up." (My class mascot is a koala, by the way...) My second favorite said, "You are the best teacher in the whole wide world." Now those can only bring a smile to my day! :)

Also, I realize I have the best girlfriends anyone could ever ask for. I am even lucky enough to work with two of them. It has occurred to me recently just how much I need "girl's nights" in my life. I am working on planning at least one a month. Let me know if you're in! Us girls gotta stick together, right?!?!

Sorry if this entry was kind of a downer. I always try so hard to be upbeat and positive! But it's not realistic to think life is always going to be like that. Sometimes you're in a bad mood, and sometimes things don't work out the way you want them to. And sometimes you're too tried to think of creative things to say and just have to talk about the "everyday happenings!" So thanks for bearing with me! ;)

I am grateful for...
1.) Being honest, even if it might ripple the waters.
2.) Skyline chili dip WITHOUT noodles in it! Who would've thought!!!
3.) FRIDAY!!!